viva (dvlf) wrote,


Cw grandmas, hospitals, probably not coming home. Didnt get the job i wanted

My grandma is in the hospital again. She most likely isnt coming home this time. Probably get transferred to a rehab up by my mom's house.
I almost flew home early the other day from tour but I'm home sunday. I knew it would happen eventually, i just thought I'd have more time.

I'll have to find a new place to live. Change my entire life since it's been primarily dedicated to my grandparents since i moved to florida.

I'm not really ready for any of this and I'm not even home yet.

My bf has been an angel and gone to see her, brought her stuff from the house, checks on her every day.  I'm so grateful even though i feel guilty because it is my responsibility. Not his. But he loves her and has his own special relationship with her so he's just doing everything he can.

I also didnt get the merch job for Hamilton. Ive been emailing this lady since April. And the ONE FUCKING EMAIL she didn't get was the important one with the availability and everything. But she got my followup emails and the resend of the original but it was still too late. Ive been waiting for this for three fucking years.  But its fine. I can dedicate myself to nana in my time home..until i leave again

Hopefully my heart will be okay by then

But I'm really fucking sad

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