viva (dvlf) wrote,

Cw.. depression..current events..bernie sanders

There's a bernie sanders rally today in whatever town we're in now.. 2 hours from our show tonight.. And I'm like how is that gonna help us (humanity) as a whole.. Going to listen to bernie sanders talk about truths we already know and still cant do anything about. For what.. To motivate HIS political agenda? ..the one he resigned from anyway. The one while even in all his good ideas/motivations, he's still just an old white man taking people's money making decisions for people that never asked him to..he has no fucking platform or influence anymore..he couldn't and can't save us now..what is the point?

I'm depressed and the house we're staying in now/last night has a HUGE trump sign when you walk in.. I'm hiding in this overly pink room i slept in and i dont want to go downstairs to talk to anyone

Thr state of the world isn't okay. I talk to my best friend and you all without judgement, but i cant have political conversations in real life. With family, people, friends, anyone. I dont want to have these conversations to be continually told I'm wrong. To be continually told we matter when we so clearly don't. To anyone. Any person of authority. All the people that care and want to change the way things are have no platform to do so. It feels so hopeless. To just accept all death of womxn and POC and just continually be told "well it's not happening to you".. And it hasn't...yet. But it still affects every fiber of my being, my soul. I dont have money to donate. I don't have a voice loud enough for anyone to hear. I don't have spoons to constantly have defend everything i know in my heart to be right to people that don't care. I can't do anything but be selfish, hug people, work for bands who can't really pay me but i still help them because they need it and i need it. This undying need to feel useful, like I'm making some kind of difference, even though i don't feel like i am most of the time. But i also don't know what to do instead. I feel so lost. My heart hurts for all of us and i can't do anything or defend any of us in a real way that makes a difference or influence.

What now?

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