May 14th, 2001


a madd libb, from isnt it?

One Fine Orgy
Dear mom ,
Well, here I am in this smurfy purple jail cell. SMURFY! I don't remember how it happened exactly. How smurfy!All I know is smurfily what chris told me:

ryan and erica threw a peachy party last night. Smurfilicious! jordan thought it would be fun if we walked to the Ihop to buy Vodka . Smurfilicious! I know what you're thinking, WERE WE bitchy ?!?!

The rest may be hard for you to understand, but we met up with some guys, Ari(r) , Ari(c) , and my smurfymath teacher, you remember him, mr thackston . Smurfilicious! Well, he is smurfily the one that bought it. SMURFY!so if you are smurfily mad at anyone, be mad at mr thackston . SMURFY!

Well, we went back to Gini 's house, and went to the e104 . Smurfilicious! That's where the random flying began. Smurfilicious! Jeff , Fedeli , and Diane were kissing in one corner. SMURFY! your smurfymom and Kimmi were jumping . SMURFY! mr derfield and ms ogaz were having sex on the piano . How smurfy!

Me and jeramiah the bullfrog were just standing there for 237 minutes, until that got shiny . How smurfy! When mr deerfield started to turn on to me, I got scared, and took billybobjoebob the blue flamingo to the the basement . How smurfy! It was dark in the room, and i wasnt sure exactly what was going on, but someone took off my smurfy silk shirt . Smurfy, isn't it? Thinking it was Hot Jew boy sam , i started to biting him/her. Smurfilicious! To my smurfysurprise it was, chris . SMURFY! rob turned on the lights, and jimmy smurfy , dan , oscar , and lionel were all on top of each other, completely naked!! It was a aqua sight. Smurfilicious!

Well. SMURFY!the reason I am writing is smurfily because I really need some cash. How smurfy!I would be able to bail myself out, but I sorta spent all my smurfymoney. Smurfy, isn't it? See, when I ran from the room, I ended up in the the closet with scotty and I don't know what over came me, maybe it was the pot ? But I ended up paying scotty for the bright , entertainment he provided, It started out with them just stripping, but then, they started to left with me, and next thing I knew, I was paying them. How smurfy!I'm not too sure what happened, but it was green !!

Well, the cops arrived, and told me to put on my smurfy bra and bondage belt cuz we were all under arrest!! Everyone was trying to run away, and i got hit in the head by a flamingo that was punked at me. Smurfy, isn't it? I guess I got knocked unconcious, cuz next thing I knew, i woke up and was here in jail. Smurfilicious!

I'm really sorry, but can u come down, and bring with you 342 dollars for bail money?

Love always, your smurfy soft daughter ,


PS I'm just kidding, I spent the night at Avi 's house, and I need my smurfytoothbrush!!

more malibbs in Jive form and smurf form

One crazy yet awesome party!
De weekend wuz finally here. Right On! Me and mah' two best buds, chris and ryan decided t'drow de party uh some lifetime. Right On! chris 's parents wuz away fo' some week so's we decided t'gotss' it dere. Right On! We wants'ed t'gotss' some purple party, so's we needed ritlin and vodka . We called waaay down 8 uh our foxyest homeys includin' jo'dan gini kimmi dochiny bart ben travis travis mcneal jusin marshall . From dere da damn party grew until dere wuz around 23 sucka's. Right On! halle barry brought some WOWIES. Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On! emu . fedeli chilled wid it on de couch. As sucka's wuz tryin' t'get da damn emu drunk fum some funnel, kelli kept herself busy wid de NYC . Dis party wuz too weird. Right On! As ah' walked into de kitchen viva wuz buntin' rob . Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On! De kitchen floo' had turned some aqua colo' afta' erica wuz finished doin' sump'ng weird wid deir belly buton in de toaster. Ah be baaad... Everywhere ah' looked dere wuz sucka's smokin' out uh bongs and chuggin' waaay down de funnels. Even de Emu wannabe had joined in and looked pretty wuzted as it loved into de fridge. What it is, Mama. Right On! ah' gots scared when ah' saw greg lickin' whip cream off audrey toe . ah' really wants'ed t'find jrmiah de bullfrog so's we could maybe honkyfool around. Right On! ah' looked fo' hours and ah' finally found him . Right On! ah' wuz so's senile dat ah' plum yelled out hi ah' gotss' mono,wanna make out? t' ha' . In some matta' uh seconds all he said wuz HOLY ST. JEBUS. Right On!. Right On!. Right On!. Right On! and den started t' flew me. What it is, Mama. Right On! It wuz so's great. Right On! We buttered fo' 4 hours until 12:44am . Den ah' decided t'see how much damage wuz done t' chris 's crib. Right On! ah' saw jeff strippin' infront uh de mirro' wid de emu dancin' t' puff de magic dragon . scott and marc wuz goin' at it in de closet . Ew, and viva wuz doin' sump'ng really weird and gross t'de monkey in de hot tub. Right On! Some sucka's still had lots uh prozac and tequila left. Right On! So me and jeramiah de bullfrog decided t' Sexin' one mo'e time and den join in. Right On! It wuz some weird yet awesome party. Right On! Now we kin't wait until next weekend. Right On!

--------------------------------------------------One crazy yet awesome party!
The weekend was finally here! Me and my smurfytwo best buds, chris and ryan decided to throw the party of a lifetime! chris 's parents were away for a week so we decided to have it there! We wanted to have a purple party, so we needed ritlin and vodka . Smurfy, isn't it? We called up 8 of our foxyest friends including jordan gini kimmi dochiny bart ben travis travis mcneal jusin marshall . SMURFY! From there the party grew until there was around 23 people! halle barry brought a WOWIES!!!! emu . Smurfilicious! fedeli chilled with it on the couch. SMURFY! As people were trying to get the emu drunk from a funnel, kelli kept herself busy with the NYC . Smurfilicious! This smurfy party was too weird! As i walked into the kitchen viva was bunting rob !!!!!!! The kitchen floor had turned a aqua color after erica was finished doing something weird with their smurfy belly buton in the toaster. SMURFY! Everywhere I looked there were people smoking out of bongs and chugging down the funnels. Smurfy, isn't it? Even the Emu wannabe had joined in and looked pretty wasted as it loved into the fridge. SMURFY! I got scared when i saw greg licking whip cream off audrey toe . SMURFY! I really wanted to find jrmiah the bullfrog so we could maybe fool around! I looked for hours and I finally found him ! I was so senile that I just yelled out hi i have mono,wanna make out? to her . How smurfy! In a matter of seconds all he said was HOLY ST. SMURFY! JEBUS!!!! and then started to flew me. SMURFY! It was so great! We buttered for 4 hours until 12:44am . How smurfy! Then I decided to see how much damage was done to chris 's house! I saw jeff stripping infront of the mirror with the emu dancing to puff the magic dragon . Smurfy, isn't it? scott and marc were going at it in the closet . SMURFY! Ew, and viva was doing something really weird and gross to the monkey in the hot tub! Some people still had lots of prozac and tequila left! So me and jeramiah the bullfrog decided to Sexing one more time and then join in! It was a weird yet awesome party! Now we can't wait until next weekend!

one more.......

HOT DIGITY! ! you are finally chosen to be part of the REAL WORLD MTV cast. You arrive at your pointy in bublefuk . You are the first to arrive. You take a tour and find a/an purple , 2 foot long pool in the backyard. It is full of aqua water. You are also excited when you find out each bedroom has an awesome faucet to jump on. The kitchen is big enough to fit 5 people in it and the refrigerator is stocked with cans of orange soda , jars of srawberry jam, and huge portions of emu meat!
Soon your other 6 room mates arrive. You are suprised because they are, chris , jordan , scott , dochiny , ryan , and erica . You already know them all! Once you think about it though, everyone fits the REAL WORLD quota:

chris is the token gay one.

dochiny is the token ISRAELI one.

jordan is the token model-looking one.

ryan is the token loner.

scott is the token shiny one.

erica is the token player,

and you fit the quota as the PARTY spork .

Once eveyone settles in you all decide to pick a room. ryan obviously takes the single room. scott and jordan room together in the other spork themed room. dochiny and erica share the room with fairy-like wall paper. You and chris share the best room, it has pink beds, and paintings by the famous Bill S Preston Esquire cover the walls.

The next day you find out that the 7 of you will be working at the local dragon store. Since bublefuk is so small there weren't any other options. So far this wasn't turning out to be the REAL WORLD experience you expected.

Only after 9 days, your room mates are driving you iffy . dochiny and jordan are constantly fucking loudly in the my room . ryan never washes their themes and leaves them lying in the spork . erica keeps bringing home bitchy strippers. scott always leaves the toilet full of sporks , and chris snores all night which sounds like a laughing emu . You haven't gotten sleep in 4321 nights because of it. The only reason you decide not to leave is the vacation. You all get to go on a trip to europe .

Good thing you didn't leave because you meet james marsters who is there on the celebrity version of MTV's ROAD RULES. The rest of the vacation you spend looking at the country's famous more sporks and eat at the green cucumbers restaurants. At night you spend endless hours flying .

Unfortunately the vacation is over quickly and you are back in bublefuk selling lots of emus and spunky more emus . Its all good because in a week you're back home in germantown and james marsters visits you 3.54723568 time(s) a week. Whenever anyone asks you how you liked being on REAL WORLD, you say BOOGERS! ! Its fucked !

embassy and 6 hour phone calls


in my mists of being bored and doing madlibbs...i met a boy...hehe.....his name is Daniel, he's 19...we had the most amazing 6-7 hor conversation on the phone.....i literally got NO sleep!! at all!...its horrible..but so totally awesome....and apparently as of 4:32am hes my new boyfriend...and he wanted me to say that he's incredably sexy and makes a lot of money...hehe...we might hang out saturday..and sunday if i like him...hehe...

my newest obbsession is Armani.....i want a full armani suit ith a cool i can look like a big butchbusiess woman...hehe...i love armani..hehe....with silk boxers....hehe

i went to the ISraeli embasy with my mom to get my waver so i dont have to goto the Army...on the way there my mom and i got coffee at yeah on the way to the embassy my mom stops short and her elbow knocks my coffe over onto my wrist and that hurt and my mom says " is there a stain on the carseat!"..then we get to the embassy...and my mom forgotmy israeli we had to send it in the mail...and the lady was a real bitch....i know what ben was talking about now...but the guys in the security office were REALLY seriusly hot.....israeli's rock my world....hehe......especially the accents.....i lost my accent....i'm sad....anyway..

after that mymom and i ent to montgomery mall ...i got two pairs of for graduation and one for my uncles wedding...its all good...

tomarrow my tutor is coming (not the hot one) to finih english stuff...i have to finish all my work byt he end of the week..inclluding my finals...which i dont think i'll be able to do....i have to work my ass off and i'm so not in favor of doing that....

so yeah i cant do anything until the weekend..

i talked to Uri today.....apparently he's just been SUPERbusy with stuff at work and just hasnt had time to talk to me...which is sad... cause kind of like him a a little bit more than daniel...but then again i havent met daniel yet....but he knows friends of my family..hewent to magruder.. its like whatever...i dont know

Uri rocks...but daniel rocks too!!....HELP!!!!!

thats all for now
  • Current Music
    free--dana international

rockin bands

here's a rockin rock show this weekend...sat. 5/19 @ the corner kick in gaithersburg (18707 N. Frederick Road).

bands playing are -
rocket 350 (psychobilly)
the mallstars (pop-punk)
rachet boys (ska)
the max levine ensemble (pop-punkish, come to just to see them, they're that fun)
the alphabet bombers (rockabilly)

this show is going to be a lot of fun...a lot a lot. i'm excited. i'll be there. it's six bucks, all ages, email me if you want anymore info. or fliers. i've got sooo many fliers. --Shara aka Sharatooslick(aim) aka Kick_shara (livejournal)

more blibs

The Super-Size Secret
There is a secret that you and your friends, chris , Jeff , and Jordan have kept from the world for 69 years. The secret is that you are the sexy superhero, sexing whipped cream . Your friend, chris , is sex The Warrior Of hooker s. Leaving Jeff and Jordan as the unstoppable duo, The Ruler Of emus and The Little, sex-like , dildo .
You got your superhero name from your sexalicious power that causes whipped cream s to fly from your PENIS!!!!! at warp speed. This always causes your enemy to wild hot steaming mad passionate monkey butt goat sex and then turn into a/an whipped cream for 69 minutes.

chris got their name from the way they always sex and hang out with hooker s. chris 's special power is the way they dress like a/an hooker and use their clothing as a wepon. For example, chris uses a/an loincloth as a lasso, or a/an cra as a sling-shot, which shoots sex at the enemy.

Jeff got their name because they sex emus . Jeff shoots sex out of the emus BOOBS!!! . But mostly Jeff just lets loose 69 emus to sex or fucking the enemy.

Finally, Jordan got their name from the dildo they always carry. Any tool could be deadly in Jordan 's hands, but Watch Out when they use the dildo ! Jordan can remove the enemy's belly button in 69 seconds with their dildo .

Whenever anyone of you need help defeating enemies, you sex WHOOORRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!! then yell, Holy fucking fuck shit! ! Then the others will arrive and help. Together you call yourselves the sexy sexing vibrators .

Many times the four of you have come together to stop The Terrible vibrator and his side-kick, flying Man. You always have a hard time defeating them because The Terrible vibrator hurls porn-like vibrator s at you. This is practicly undefeatable when combined with flying Man continually trying to flying you.

Luckily today, you shot a whipped cream at flying Man and he temporarily became a/an whipped cream . Jeff took over and released emus to eat flying . The Terrible vibrator started flinging porn-like vibrator s at you but chris lassoed The Terrible vibrator with a/an loincloth . Then, Jordan fucked The Terrible vibrator 's belly button with their dildo . Finally flying Man and The Terrible vibrator gave up. You took off their panties to reveal their toes . There was no doubt the two men were non other than Jordan and Ari !

To celebrate your win, you, chris , Jeff , and Jordan decided to go get some drinks at the local bar, Rabkin s. There you ran into the hottest person in town, Kimmi . All four of you decided you wanted to ask Kimmi out. The four of you began fighting and fucking . Finally, you decided to make Kimmi pick. Unfortunately after fighting, you were wrapped in bras . chris had 69 emus more fucking their one singular boob . Jeff 's belly button was missing and in it's place was a dildo and Jordan had become a/an whipped cream

So, who do you want? You ask Kimmi . Kimmi yells, WHOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!!!! ! and runs out of Rabkin s. The four of you decided Kimmi was sexy anyway, and the four of you finish the night off by drinking 69 pitchers of cum .

There is one more secret you are keeping. You can't even tell your friends. When you got home from Rabkin s, Kimmi was there and the two of you fuck! all night. Shh!