June 12th, 2001


my mother is the most evil person in the world!!!

first off... BUFF-- stop talking about klling yourself, you need to realize people love you and would be really hurt,sad,depressed, ad possibly suicidal if you died... you really need to stop thinking about it and talking about it.. try and find the good in life.. cause i love you and after a lot of my other friends have died, for someone i love(you), i just dont want it to happen again..i love you and if u need to talk to someone or hang out i'm here u can call me anytime you want.. seriously

OK.. so after the whoe telemarketing thing yesterday, i talked to erica and we decided to meet at borders at milestone... i go downstairs and my mom and grandma (the one i dislke) are there.. my mom was lik "i have to talk to you" i was like fine, but i got to go meet erica..


mom: i saw randi and i got the tickets
me: great, give them to me..
mom: you dont have a ride so i'm going with you
me: no, i'm going with erica, we already made plans and we can get a ride
mom: no i'mkeepig them, iinvite you to go with me, but i wanna go
me: they are MY tickets, Allen called ME and asked ME if I wanted them, not you.
mom: well thats jst to bad now isnt it
me: you know what, fuck you

and then i just walked out
MY MOM STOLE MY BACKSTREETBOYS TICKETS!!>... as much as i dont like the backstreet boys,its the principle of the thing, my mom stole my concert tickets, that my uncle and aunt gave me for my birthday!

then more disaster on the way to meet erica.... i had to walk up neelesville church rd..which is really narrow with no sidewalks.. its the only way to get to milestone, after being really pissd off about my mom, i all in mud, my shoes and pants get completly covered.. then about 20 min up the rd, i realize i dropped my phone, soi had to backtrack 10 min, which was more annoying, pus it was EXTREMLY HOT!..then i got lost in some random neighborhood cause i havent been up to milestone in like a year.. thats all aside from almost geting hit by lke 5 cars..i finally get t milstone and i meet erica at borders..we find NOTHING we want.. so we goto khol's (say yay avi).. i bought 3 pairs of boxers, i love boxers, smileyface ones, pretty purple ones, and a pair of blue silk ones (oh baby)...erica bought silk ones too... we rock..then we call erica's mom and goto bob evans for dinner.. i'e never been there.. i had really good mashed potatoes.. Oreo works there.. he's so hot.. i love him

i crashed at erica's last night.. i slept on the couch in the basement..(memories of prom night) first i took a shower (in the basement)..more memories of prom night--yum--... that was ok..then me and erica drank a LOT of chocolate milk..like real chocolate mile.. whole milk.. never had it.. i've lived on skim milk since i can remember.. so that was good..we also watched the repeat of boston public and talked to people online.. such as Jeff, Nick, Jordan-etc.. then i went to the baseent and watched tv until like 2am..

i went back to school this morning..saw my baby marc, i love him.. and saw my froshess and sophs..they rock.. then everyone went to go take their exams... i went and sat outside and talked to oreo for 2 hours.. i got to hold his hair down while some random girl corn-rolled it.. greasy.. he let me wear his viser...i'm an oreo wannabe.. he said i was the 2nd best lookin person at prom, i was like thanx! (he was the first)...i also gave him a backrub...he has a tounge ring.. i want it.. in more ways than one.. mmm..oreo...anyway

then me, chris and jenny went to the mall...well CVS, where i got haircolor, i'm gonna be blonde for a while (whoa)..then blue-haired...then we went to borders and i got 2 magazines and the newfound glory cd....then we went to the mall and i got a CD player... and i went to suncoast and talked to mike about getting my job back..he said he'll probably need the help..so i offered.. i need the money...then we went to chris's house and i fell asleep.. we all fell asleep...then jenny went home and chris an i watched tv..then i walked home

in between all of this there were random phone conversations with my mom

#1)--about cming hom right after ericas in the morning, which i didnt do..
#2)--about getting a job by the end of the week, whatever.. i dont care..aparetnly i have an apt tomarrow to make an official resume.. i dont know.. appretnly i passed up good job opportunities
#3) apparently i blew my chances of getting 4 backstreet boys tickets, because i talked back to my mom...i think she was bluffing, i wouldnt be suprised.. whatever..i'm going to bitch at randi and allen and try to score janet jackson tickets for the clique..or at least for chris...

one random msg from my step dad bitching at me to cut the shit and go home.. oh yeah that made me feel a lot better to have him bitch at me.. whatever

i got home, evil said hi, i said hi, i went upstairs and took a shower... the went online.. you all have no idea how angry i am.. ERR!!

everything bought today was compliments of the 100$ i got from my asshole father in israel.. i dont want is dirty asshole money in my camera fund...anyway

thats all for now

happy birthday to aaron moss even though he doesnt like me

you can all call me if u want.. but whatever..
there is a party at daria's house on friday which i'll more than likely end up going to ... finally a real party.. i hope kimi is back from her aunt's house

i miss her.. i really want to see her
i think i'm in denial


someone hug me
  • Current Music
    newfound glory-goodbye song

cd player

if my mom asks...i'm saying diane,jordan,greg,gini and scott all gave in 6$ to buy me a 30$ cdplayer.. thats where i got it from..so sh doesnt bitch at me even more for buying things

and me and erica combined money to buy hairdye.. the end

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i wish i could sleep as much as chris and ryan do.. that way i could sleep right through my parents bitching.. UCH
could they just shut the fuck up



i'll try

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i honestly dont know what to do about this

i really just want to put the wholeanger thng behind me but everytime i look at her or her her voice i get SO unbelievably angry..i just dont now what to do..i really have shit to do this week... apparently my uncle got me a job in a video company..but i have to make a resume of ALL of everything i've ever doene with cameras and theatre and such! OMG..like i remember the year i was in 3rd grade..thats when i started my first tv crew... i dont remember most of the dates!.. its crazy..she's like well we have to do it together.. like doing it together would mae a fucking difference.. she comes upstairs and starts bitching at me " why ar eu so angry.. just shut up nd get over it" ... oh yeah thats gonna make me want to talk to her even more!.. like i give a fucking shit.. ERR

she makes me so unbelievably mad.. now i have to goto some random lady's house who is supposably supposed to help me with the whol resume thing.. whatever.. i was like if u want me up by 8..wake me up.. she was like.. you set ur alarm and be up and ready by8.. i was just like Fuckyou!...seriousy.. to everyone really (in my family)

i'm just like fuck you!

whatever... someone help me.. how can i get over this.. what should i do