August 12th, 2001



so yeah..i saw a friend from a very long time ago..was in a weird Youi cosplay that had to do much with "bootilicious midgets and manly aingst"...and got hit on by dirty guys at the dance.. and u know realized that my girlfriend doesnt love me as much as i hoped.. but its all good...

kimi leaves tomarrow for the army... i guess i'll be single again.. she's in love with her boyfriend (yes her boyfriend) phillip..which is ok...upsetting but ok... as long as she's happy..thats all i care about.. as long as she's happy

august 28th-sept 1st..i'll be in FL helping my grandfather move in..

there might be some change of plans for the whole party thing this weekend.. so its not a definate plan..i just found out...

my aol is broken.. HOPEFULLY it will be fixed by tomarrow.. so from now on send emails to and AIM- DivaVivaLF...

i'm home now.. call me at home...

i got nothin to do all week really...

my hair is like black..Lila dyed it for my costume.. hopefully i can get money and turn it red again..i need blonde and red... and hopefully it wont fall out... i dotn look good with black curley hair.. believe me.. i dont

i need a hug

call me damnit
  • Current Music
    Nine Days - Absolutely (Story Of A Girl)(blink 182, matchbox 20, third eye blind fans get this song!)

about ryan and jenny's comments..

aparenty i'm the queen of this clique..whih i dont particularly agree to.. and appaently jenny thinks she has to take over when you all and i leave...which i dont agree to either..yes things may be different.. with the upcoming year.. i'll be close by...and just because people are going away doesnt mean they leave the clique..if u keep in touch and stuff its all good.. the clique.. to me.. is not just a group of people..but my friends and family...the name "clique" is just something you all use to call myfriends and family.. the whole group of us and why peple think that i'm the oe keeng it becase i ty and look out for everyone...all my friends.. i take care fo them (well try too)..i have a certain type of love for my friends and these people who i tend o care deeply for are my entir life...i go to these people for love,hugs,support etc... cause i kno thatthey'll be there for me.. cause i am there for them and if anything happend to any of them i'll be tramatized forever.. like a part of me will disapear forever.. despite just my cring for these pople.. you all have built relationships with eachother..adn held them stong and hav th same effection for eachother as i do for everyone and i totally admire and repect that. and THAT is what keeps the cique going.. not me..even today marc says

"Marc8382 (9:35:59 PM): yeah, this whole year has been awesome, ever since I met you and Diane it seems everything has been good, for the most part

DivaVivaLF (9:36:42 PM): it may not seem like it now.. but that means a lot to me actually...thank you"

and its true..that means SO incredaly much to me..that i made a difference in someones life.....i find that compltely amazing..that i could do that

so yeah.. we all made this group.. with the love... and unless someone feels that they arent loved.. thats when the clique dissapears..when the love and support stops..the clique dies.. and i wont let that happen to the people i love...

there is gonna be a lot of changes...but i dont think it will matter... we keep it strong...
  • Current Music
    clique theme--baby got back

random news

whenever i/we get an apartment.. apparently i already have like all the furnishings...couches..bedroom all we have to do is find an apartment ...and the rest is taken care of... how sweet is that..
  • Current Music
    Nelly - Utha Slide


OK..someone hacked my computer and changed my password for AOL... and my password for my website... so now i cant access ANYTHING.. great

just fuckin great..

i hate my life... i need a hug

i'm sad

(no subject)

i'm somewhat depressed now..

at otakon.. saturday night.....everything dawns on me... kimi doesnt love me.. mark brill doesnt love me... i dotn have a job... i cant drive.. i'm not sure tech comm.. is what i want to do in college.. i'm freakin out about the future.....adn all i want is a fuckin meaningful hug without the expectation of sex......i'm going insane....

and i cant stop crying...

and i dont have any money to get more color to change it back.....i'm going insane......
  • Current Music
    Radiohead - High and Dry

to whom ever is fuckin with my life

yeah.. to the people who hacked my comp and changed my aol and expage passwords.. can u please stop fuckin with me..what did i ever do to you?? and if i did do something to you..what do u want from me?..what can i give u to leave me alone... aside from the shit already in my life..why do u want to make it worse?...what kind of a person are you?? tell me
  • Current Music
    Radiohead - Paranoid Android