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DivaVivaLeFreek's delusional thoughts -- Day [entries|friends|calendar]
viva

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hmm [12 Sep 2001|12:12am]
today is my step sister's bday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LORI!!!!
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[12 Sep 2001|12:31am]
jason should call me or come over
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AGAIN!!!!! [12 Sep 2001|08:07am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

Again wiith the waking up at 7am!!!! what the fuck is that about! i told her last night not ot EVER do that again..and guess what....she did.. she's comes in and is like "the garage door is open and i dont know how to close it!"....i'm like its 7 fuckin clock in the morinign..... go away!!!!
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aside from the disturbing awakening:

i might go to lunch with ricky ferry... i dont know him..but he's in rockville and likes TMLE..which is always cool.. he's neat.. people should read his journal...i dunno though if its gonna work out or anything..

everything in congressional plaza was closed.. weird

i have to do math work.. a lot of math work..i did 4 pages...i have like 8 left.. and then..... THE ENGLISH>. Bum bum bum!

i wonder if my parents are alright..they went to the bermudas or somethin..there is supposed to be a hurricane there.. my stepdad works for the DIA in the pentagon..and thats the side that got blown up..that cant be good.. anyway

u know who just rocks!...me first and the gimme gimmes... they just Rock so much!

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prayers on behalf of jon [12 Sep 2001|08:40am]
Some prayers:
"Frustrate the hopes of all those who malign us; let all evil very soon disappear. Let all Your enemies soon be destroyed. May You quickly uproot and crush the arrogant; may You subdue and humble them in our time." ~ From the liturgy

"I will wreak frightful vengeance upon them by furious punishment; and when I inflict my vengeance upon them, they shall know that I am the LORD." ~ Ezekiel 25:17
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my mom [12 Sep 2001|08:52am]
my mom called from the bermudas and i was talking to her and my grandma gets on and COMPLETLY unterups us like i wasnt even there.... what the fuck is that. maybe i want to talk to my mom or something....whatever......grrr
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OMG!!! i cant even talk to my own mom!! [12 Sep 2001|08:59am]
yeah... FUCK YOU!!!!!!
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[12 Sep 2001|09:04am]
just leave me the fuck alone woman!!!!! JEBUS!!!! i seriously hate her.. and i dont hate that many people.. i usually love almost everyone... just NOT HER!!!!!
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[12 Sep 2001|09:08am]
i love jordan knight
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WHAT THE FUCK!!! is it like Bitch the fuck out of viva day or something! [12 Sep 2001|10:42am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

I walk downstairs and my Grandpa start screaming and bitching at me cause i didnt say that my mom sent me an email..she sent it to him too....what the fuck...like i need to be woken up every fuckin morning at 7am or bitched at when i walk down the stairs or anything.... FUCK THIS FAMILY!!! i'm so serious i'm about bitch the crap out of everyone... they are NOT my mother..a.nd even if they were..it doesnt matter.i do what i want!.....leave me the fuck alone...if they were SO worried why didnt THEY do something about it....dont bitch the crap out of me....thats it i'm getting out of here...... i'm leaving

call my cell phone..i'm leaving after i shower....i'll more then likely end up at the mal...i'm SO pissed off


i SO do NOT need any of this shit.....a
chris call me

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so today [12 Sep 2001|11:48am]
[ mood | calm ]

in my fit of rage, i took a shower

i feel better

i'm still mad though

i'm going to meet Rick Ferry for lunch at somepoint.. i think.. he's cool.. we know people who know eachother.. we havent really met.. but its all good.. JDS connections..

if i do goto the mall it will be later in the afternoon .. i dunno.. whatever.. call my cell 301-254-5308

we need to goto dennys this week..i've made a personal desicion.. anyway

thats my story

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"Forensics..... S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S.....forensics" [12 Sep 2001|07:28pm]
[ mood | sad ]

my morning sucked ass! as you all read before.. my afternoon was like the high point of my day from like 2- 4..i had lunch with Ricky Ferry.. he's the coolest.. we met at rockville station and walked to this Veggie Chinse resturaunt which was pretty good.. he open doors for me...which i was SO not used to..i'm like wow..a nice person.. he's incredably sweet.. i as like wow.. and lunch was rat it was filled with tons of awkward silences and it like wasnt sexual at all..i dont think i've ever been in any situation that wasnt at least a little bit sexual.. but todaywas likejust convrsation and it was cool and like sweet and he has great smile..he's adorable..he's my new friend.. anyway.. we walked through a random park thing and it was cool..it should have had flowers... but anyway.. so then we got bac to the meto and we hugged an said goodbye.. it was all good. whats the word.. PLeasent..it was pleasent..that rocked


the rest of the day sucked..i got to the mall cause left my keys at home by accident..so i got there and justin was there and it was cool for little while.. AC completly ignored me.. and like was kind of mean..i dunno..but iwas up at suncoast and Jayson was just giving me SO MUCH SHIT! and bitching at me.. ad rob and justin were just like laughing histericaly and it really hurt my feelings. seriously..i started crying..it REALLY hurt my feelings.. they were reallly mean.. Jayson was like "i dont get mad when u call me an asshole" i was like "if u werent such a fuckin asshole i wouldnt call u that!"...watever i was like rying plus i was SO tired.....i'm still tired....i'd drink myself rtarded if i didnt have class tomarrow.. i really really DONT wanna go..uch..'m so tired i ant even concintrate on anything and i still havent finished my work... if i screw myself over this semester i'll never forgive myself..i dunno

chris and i might go up to colllege park on saturday.. so i might go visit people..marc, mark, avi, etc.. friday night i might have a party.. i dunn.. friday durin the day nd sunday i'm probably gonna be at my grandparents house sale in silve spring..selling shit.. everyone should go buy stuff 412 branch drive.. all weekend..

i dunno.. i havent heard much of anything from Jason..which is ok..but u kknow..he's a cool guy so its kinda sad

i gotta talk to jordan about saturday night... monday night is still diner.. someone should please come.. if ur interesting in a niht of GOOD food, a lot of food , and a bigass tv..let me know.. come on...u know u wanna come!

i feel like such shit right now.. i feel so low.. and my eyes hurt from crying.. i really need a hug....i even kinda miss my mom....i'm SO sick of my grandparents. i cant even stad it..i'm probably gonna kirk out again soon.. i cannot live like this..at all

cal me if u wanna hang or like talk or somethin

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in regards to yesterday [12 Sep 2001|08:24pm]
a lot of people have been effected.. i actually havent..the whole planecrashing thing doesnt effect me personnally.. it may effect me as a citzen.which i dont live my life by that standpoint.. so i'm not effected.. people say " i'm going to remember this day forever".. me, i probably wont.. i should care more..but i dont.. does it make me a bad person for not caring that much?.. oh well.. everyone dies eventually..some sooner than others.. G-d has the reasons.. no one will no why.. so no one should ask..


thats my standpoint on the subject and if anyone has a problem with it.. i dont really care.. so just shut up already about it..
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in regards to yesterday [12 Sep 2001|08:24pm]
a lot of people have been effected.. i actually havent..the whole planecrashing thing doesnt effect me personnally.. it may effect me as a citzen.which i dont live my life by that standpoint.. so i'm not effected.. people say " i'm going to remember this day forever".. me, i probably wont.. i should care more..but i dont.. does it make me a bad person for not caring that much?.. oh well.. everyone dies eventually..some sooner than others.. G-d has the reasons.. no one will no why.. so no one should ask..


thats my standpoint on the subject and if anyone has a problem with it.. i dont really care.. so just shut up already about it..

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WHY DOESNT SHE GET IT!! [12 Sep 2001|09:14pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

why cant she leave me alone.. i'm in a bad mood i told her i'm in a bad mood..why wont she just leave me the fuck alone!!!!! why cant sh get it..i dont want to talk to her..i dont like talking to her..i dont give a flying fuck what she did today.. just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!!! so y mom may be evil...my gandmother is SATAN!!!!!... by far worse than AC's mom....i dont hate ACs mom, i just dislike her.. but my grandma.i HATE that woman!.. i really cant take this shit or much longer....if she even THINKS about waking me up at fuckin 7am..i'm going o kirk out in the worst possible way!

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[12 Sep 2001|09:22pm]
i hurt myself today
to see if i still feel
i focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but i remember everything
what have i become?
my sweetest friend
everyone i know
goes away in the end



i'm going to go find a corner to cry in....call if u want....or if u care.....whatever
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lonely much [12 Sep 2001|11:49pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

for the past 2 hours i've been reading kimi's livejournal...beginning to end.. G-d I miss her.. my world is SO empty..i'm not complete without her... i truely and honestly love her... i hate being apart from her.. she is completely amazing.....i could spend the rest of my life just Watching her.being with her.. i could.. thats only one word to describe it.. amazing.. i miss her so much.. with everything going on i truely value all the time we spent together and the memories and the connection...especially her smile.. thats been perminantly inplanted n my brain..and her voice...her sweet, seductive, beautiful voice..when she sings the birds get jealous.. i didnt know that beautiful a sound can even be made..there are no words..there are, i just cant even begintosay all of them..an endless list..i'm forced to just wait..alone..without anything but a picture and a letter.. which is something..which is better than nothing.. i dont know what to do...i love her



...i cant stop crying...i've been crying since 5:30 today and havent stopped once..

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