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WHOA___WHAT THE FUCK!!! [20 Oct 2001|01:00am]
[ mood | confused ]

ok i goto DC for one fuckin day and my main best friends are at eachothers throats...what the fuck is going on??? excuse me? WHAT?...i'm so confused..i've never heard my friends be so open with eachother... i'm just like whoa..... maybe i wont goto the afterparty.... cause if i see my friends fighting i think i'll cry and go into some histeryical melt down.....i dont know what i'll do....maybe i'll just stay at robbie's house....i dunno....whatever


today was a random good day.....brian came with me to DC... we got there.... we found the thing it was all good.... we hung out...brian and i set up tables..then brian went to soho for a while...then he came back....i hung out..met new people..they rock... i got a whole lottta cool stuff... like SMYAL buttons, two bouncy smiley balls.. a pen... rainbow stuff.....stickers.. yay..... i got to wear a cool apron cause i got to rip tickets.. me and brian got to see a film called Water boys...it was in like aisian.the whole thing was like aisian.....it was amusing...its about a boys syncronized swim team....its a pretty good flick... so yeah..by like 8:40-something when the film ended.. i was tired and SO hungry and i had to pee really bad.. cause i havent eaten, or peed all day... but i had nothing to eat and i didnt go.. i went to the metro and brian went to soho again.....i felt SO sick... then i got to shady grove and was waiting for the bus.and brian showed up like 5 min after me!.. so we take the 59 to MV..and we goto Dennys.. they dont serve mashed potatoes after like 10pm...which is SUCH BULLSHIT.....cause i KNOW they do...i've gotten them before!!!! i'm so mad..... so i had 5$ so i get cheesesticks....brian gets cheesefries.......then its really really cold outside..so i didnt wanna walk home... i called daniel ..but he was at like kathryn's house or something.... he loves her...... i dont know why..whatever.... so brian calls his mom....and his mom picks him up and then he comes back for me.. cause his car is SO MESSY......it looks like mirabai's house...all cluttered and whatnot...but somewhat cool....

i'm tired and i'm going back to DC tomarrow...if i can get money from my mom.....people should come with me....cause they need more volunteers.. seriously,,,,then sunday night is the staff party at lincoln theatre...which i'm invited to...but i dunno if i'll go.....its on sunday... and getting home would be a bitch,...i dunno....i'll think abut it


i'm tired......its 1am...i'm going to sleep

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[20 Oct 2001|11:51am]
iw oke up at 7am...i went back to sleepo....my mom screams up to me at like 10:45 (i'm still sleeping) "BIGGIE'S HERE).....and i was like "DAMNIT!"...... so i got up all tired and whatnot.....now i have to goto mirabai's with my mom...then she's dropping me off at the metro.... i dotn wanna go.....i'm tired.... i hope she gives me money...

umm... call my cell if u want me today....anyone wanna do something tonight...by anyone i mean chris..

anyone..if chris cant..

call my cell 254-5308

bye
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damn corners [20 Oct 2001|04:41pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i've been crying all fuckin day....and i dont know why... i'm sure it has some psycological reasoning having to do with my friend's fighting..but whatever....my mom was on the way to dropping me off at shady grove..and i had a total melt down and started crying my eyes out...and she was like you dont have to go...and i felt SO bad..cause i signed up to help.. but i didnt go....i went with her and my aunt randi to behnke's (some flower place)... and fell asleep on a bench while they shopped for flowers......i've felt like shit all fuckin day...

tonight i have to deal with family shit.....my setp bro in law and sis... grandparents (the other ones not the ones i dislike)... and whoever else.... i so dont wanna deal with it .... i really really really hope someone will come over for dinner....being chris..but ten to one he wont... so anyone wanna come over for dinner tonight??....please......


mike harab (nerd from churchill who takes me to blast every year)... remember him..... i love him..love in the sense of friends....thats it...i'm not attracted to him at all and he's like madly in love with me... and i dont know what to do... cause i dont like him like that....so i dont know what to do

i went to giant today..and on the luck charms cereal boxes, they have leprachaun pez dispencers and i wanted it but i didnt get a box....and so now i'm sad....

whatever.....i've been crying all day.... i feel like such a wimp......i need a hug... i wish chris would call.

i hate bras

i'm tired.... i'm gonna try and fall asleep....but it probably wont work....

i'm hooking up the nintendo to the tv in the room where my computer is..

all my corners are filled and so i cant goto a corner and cry and so i'm sad

bye....call or come by if u wanna

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[20 Oct 2001|05:08pm]
[ mood | sad ]

chris wont come over....as i figured....i asked rob to come over... but i dunno if he will either

i stopped crying for like 10 min....then i started again...

i wish jeff could come over.... but he's all kinds of far away

i've been thinking about kimi all day..... how much i wanna talk to her...tell her everything thats happend since she left..just hear her voice... i miss her so much...

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[20 Oct 2001|05:25pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i told rob not to come...... i dont need to unload a whole lotta shit on rob.. he wouldnt know what to do.

anyone wanna come over..they can i guess....i doubt anyone does....no one ever does.....whatever

sleeping wont work...i wish i had a drug that would make me sleep for like 12 hours ......

i'm so ..........i dont even know the word

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[20 Oct 2001|05:55pm]
i just ate a bocaburger and i'm about to vomit.. oh man.......they taste ok.....just eating when i'm upset is never a good thing....i should stop doing that cause it always tends to come up anyway.....


chris feels worse than i do ..i think.....and i wish i could help him..... i want him to be happy..

i'm cold..... i have nothing to do tomarrow....hopefully i'll feel better by then
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whats left of today [20 Oct 2001|11:52pm]
[ mood | upset ]

ok..everyone just shut the fuck up!!!!......stop fighting already.....stop bitching at eachother... that was yesterday!....let it go already (pointed more twards justin than anyone else)......i feel so helpless....cant we all just get alone (i know the answer...cause if we could..u all wouldnt be fighting)


i spent the night playing megaman 3 on nintendo and watching the birdcage

i like yogurt with crunchie stuff in it.... i'm eating that now cause i threw up what i ate earlier.....i'm still crying...i cant sleep

absolutely helpless

i really wish chris came over tonight.....i really needed him.....but i'm alive...so tomarrow begins in like 20 min.... hopefully i wont choke on my yogurt and die before tomarrow

i need a hug.....so bad....

i really need kimi.. oh man....my fears just keep getting bigger...

i'm suprised i havent run out of tears...i've been crying all fucking day

the united we stand concert is tomarrow....i hope scotty has a good time

i'm home tomarrow....call....come over......whatever

i dont know why justin all of a sudden turned into some big asshole....he isnt really...i guess its because he's leaving....even though he's been pissing people off the last two weeks or so...i am gonna miss him....pillow.. mall buddy..... *hugs*......dumbass..... be nice...

i feel the urge to eat five hundred pounds of yogurt with crunchie stuff......

i want to run away

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