November 11th, 2001

hand

whoever fuckin cares

I HATE MY COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!! fuckin thing freezes every 10 fuckin minuets

i had a nice entry about how everything sucks..

i've been contemplating my friendships....wow....u guys must really despise me or something... i wish you at least tell me why u dont wanna hang out with me.....a nice explanation maybe...or is that beneath you or something...whatever.....who cares......dont call me.....i dont wanna hear it........just think about it if u dont understand.....think a whole lot

fuck everyone

i wanna just goto sleep and not wake up.....wow that would solve all my problems...it really really would

goodbye
  • Current Music
    The Calling - Wherever You Will Go
hand

(no subject)

my mom doesnt even fucking care that i almost died..... wow.... that makes me feel even fuckin better

parents are just as great as friends.. i guess. wow..seems like it doesnt it
hand

(no subject)

a big heart filled fuck you goes out to everyone who thinks they arent hurting me when they are
  • Current Music
    Alien Ant Farm - Movies
hand

(no subject)

i think its kind of strange that anything that happens to me also happens to jenny like imidiately after it happend to me...i noticed that.. hmm.....weird....

i didnt sleep well and i was really hoping to.....i'm disapointed

by the way..i love angela..she's great

i think i'm sick......i dont get sick that often, but when i do its real bad.. so fuck me..cause this couldnt come at a worse time.....

for the festivus shit....count me out as well... i dont have any money to get anyone anything and i apoligize....so dont get me anything.. cause there's no point.....and i'm sure u all dont want me there anyway......so whatever

i feel like absolute shit....

whatever
  • Current Music
    Tool - Tool - Schism
hand

(no subject)

i hooked up my grandpa's computer.....i need an aol disk thing to instal aol on there...... whatever...it works....it has sound.. whatever

my stepdad is trying to play the father role.. whatever..why wont he just leave me alone....AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

if there was ever a right time to tweak.. now would be it.....but is there ever any crys when u want it....of course not


i want you to be free
dont worry about me
  • Current Music
    System Of A Down - Chop Suey
hand

(no subject)

"A real friend would bail you out of jail.....a best friend would be sitting next to you saying, 'That was fucking awesome!'"--random quote from matt
hand

(no subject)

i was asleep....sleep is good....i had a dream that there was a whole bunch of demon kids that i had to kill but they killed me instead..and then cut me up like a cake and ate me.. that was weird..


my grandparents are here......i wish they werent....i really dont wanna go talk to them

i also love jon snow..he's great too

i really didnt wanna wake up..but it seems after i die in a dream i wake up....that sucks......

anyway...... i'm home.....

lates
hand

(no subject)

ryan called me.... to see if i wanted to hang out...which is weird (ryan..the tall random dude who came from tennesee).... if ANYTHING i do not want to see or talk to him for a while...the whole thing at rob's was weird....

i'm hungry but if i eat i'm gonna throw up....so i'm not gonna eat.....i wonder how long this is gonna be for.....


i wanna not be here.....but i dont really have a desire to be anywhere else

i wish ET would call..i kinda want to talk to him..but i dont really want to call anyone

my computer sucks ass.....

i have the urge to leave and go smoke the rest of my pot that AC gave me......but that involves going outside ....well out of my room, down stairs and like down the street...and ya know..it smacks of effort..and ten to one will make me puke again.. so thats out..

AC was supposed to come over today and sort out pills for mom and dad (crystals parents)

i dont htink i can sleep anymore......i've slept from like 3 to like 5:30.. hmm... i SO dont want to be awake
  • Current Music
    Alien Ant Farm - Movies
hand

(no subject)

A Friend That's Always There
If I could catch a rainbow ...I would do it just for you, And share with you it's beauty On the days you're feeling blue.If I could build a mountain You could call your very own,A place to find serenity ...A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles ...I would toss them in the sea,But all these things I'm finding Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain Or catch a rainbow fair,But let me be what I know best ...A friend that's always there.
~ Author Unknown ~
hand

(no subject)

WHY IS IT SO FUCKING HARD FOR THEM TO UNDERSTAND!!?!?!?!!

just because i come out of my room does NOT give you any reason to think that i want to talk to ANYONE!! if i wanted to talk to any of you at all i would goto you.. i'm fucking upset..it you could even fucking aknowledge the fact that i'm upset.. then maybe u could see i DO NOT want to talkt o you.. why is it that they always give me attention when i truely dont want any at all....and i want some , like a hug or somethign....they are too fucking busy.. FUCK THEM!!!!!!!

leave me alone isnt too hard to understand...well maybe for my grandma..cause a senile fucking bitch.. i know its mean..but i really cant wait until she just keels over.. that would make my life so much easier.. hey look i'm a bitch......go figure.. yeah i am if anyone didnt know before....i'm a mean fuckin horrible bitch

why cant i fall asleep... i wanna leave.....i wanna leave


FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really just wanna scream at the top of my lungs.....but the neighborhood would get really mad

dont FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!! evilfucking bitch from hell..... what gives you the right to touch my shoulder......what gives u the right to even THINK about putting a bookcase in my computer room....there was a bookcase here.. they threw it out....wouldnt that give u a fucking hint?!?!.. use your fucking brain...... i'm on the verge of hating my grandma....i swear to fuckin god

i dont htink i've ever been so angry except when i'm anywhere near them....i cant FUCKING stand it

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm about ready to fuckin explode
  • Current Music
    System Of A Down - Chop Suey