November 13th, 2001


(no subject)

It Must Have Been Love

Lay a whisper on my pillow,
leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there's air of silence in the bedroom
and all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes and dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now.
It must have been good but I lost it somehow.
It must have been love but it's over now.

From the moment we touched, 'til the time had run out.
Make-believing we're together that I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm.
And it's a hard winters day, I dream away.

It must have been love but it's over now.
It's all that I wanted, now I'm living without.
It must have been love but it's over now,
it's where the water flows, it's where the wind blows.
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ok so skipping the stuff today i'll get to later...they had to reschedual the interview.. AGAIN!!!!!! i swear i'm fuckin angry...grrr.....tim and courtney switched scheduals and no one bothers to call me....and so i have to go on friday at 3.. which is another day to goto the mall which is SO out of my way!!!!!!..anyway

the 2 baby ducks are gone.....this morning consisted of smoking like 5 ciggarettes (i know..bad me) and have a conversation about breasts with four other chicks.. (ie breast reductions, surgery, perkyness, cleavage) like every aspect of the breasts.. then ET showed up and me and him went by his house to pick up something for his grandma or something.. i waited in the car.. listening to american pie by don mcclean..i love that song... then we drove around wheaton.. then i went to class...... but i left early..i told my prof that my brother got in an accident so i left..i was just like " my brother got hurt,, i gotta go"..and he was like ok.....i left...i was gonna goto the chinese resturaunt and funco land..but i saw mirabai on the side of the road closer to the i got off the bus and hugged her..cause i love mirabai.. and then i saw billy bob (justin sumner)... then i just went to the mall and talked to greg.. i ALMOST talked him into buying me a cd cleaner thingie.. almost....i'l get him too..he's so my bitch....anyway.... yeah then i left cause i had to goto moms house..i got my 54.80$....rock on!!!....but i got a few people to pay back.. and stuff and i dont know how much i'll have left.... then i gotta spend the rest of it on presents for people and shit.. that or a rob zombie and ozzy ticket..hahah......right.. i'm funny.. i do not want to be home.... i hate it when my grandparents are here....grr!!!!! anyway...buffy is on tonight...

I am 53% EMO.

Emo Kid.
Well.. I've made the cut! Now I'll go buy some promise rings and knit myself a sweater.

Take the EMO Test at!

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from the infamous mike schaffer

Wisdom of Bruce Brittain-
My Statistics professor, Bruce Brittain, has said some, uh, interesting things this semester. Here is a sampling...
- "Ethics...there's sometihng messing up good research."
- "They're still selling you feces at hamburger prices."
- "At what age do girls in China reach puberty?"
- "How many sexual partners have people had in the past 2 weeks?"
- "Some households don't have households."
- "You track em down and kill them...that's not what you do."
- "They say hello, or they just sort of growl at me"
- "One of the reasons I'm not teaching engineering, well, engineering stinks"
- "It helps if you're brain dead"
- "You could hijack a busload of kids and slam it into a lake"
- "At the end of the day, we sniff your pits"
- "Let's put this definition in English...uh...let's draw a picture"
- "Look at that! I can say one thing and write another!"
- "If your subjects are unconscious, it's really hard to get informed consent"
- "Look! I'm deceiving these students!"
- "I have trouble with nouns"
- "I lost Figure 7"
- "Histograms are a lot like bar graphs, except they're different"
- "USA Today is a great source of really stupid stuff"
- "Roughly symmetric means it...(pause)...roughly symmetric"
- "Mode, which we'll define on Tuesday, means most"
- "Send your daughter to IC and have her get deflowered!"
- "It pays to be white male...if you have a choice"
- "We are 100% sure that 15% of these 1800 people are fatsos"
- "Didn't I hand out a handout?"
- "This is the right way to do it...I think"
- "I should know this stuff"
- "Then she started talking to people who weren't there"
- "That beeping will become bothersome after a while"
- "Gee, I'm at the short end of the scale here"
- "I'm not pimping for EXCEL"
- "Don't expect me to give you the right answer"
- "If you win, which you won't..."
- "This isn't chalk up here! Those are anthrax sticks!"
- "I'm not going to make you d

(no subject)

jon snow is all kinds of mad at me now....and i'm sad..i didnt mean to hurt his feelings....i'm sorry... i'm gonna cry
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(no subject)

buffy was sad....willow and tara broke up......kinda well no....well kinda.....i dunno....its sad.... spike is still hot......anya and giles made out.....ewww.. lots and lots of bunnies.. weird

i'm going to class tomarrow..... hey angela and/or jeremey.. get me a pack tomarrow..... MWUAHAHAA...i hate being 17
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(no subject)

i love jon snow

monkeynoodles24 (9:19:45 PM): okay good, another word of advice, don't kill yourself
monkeynoodles24 (9:19:48 PM): whatever you do
monkeynoodles24 (9:19:52 PM): come to me first and i'll kill u
monkeynoodles24 (9:19:56 PM): heh heh
DivaVivaLF (9:20:09 PM): thanx

sara wrote an essay ....i'm in it..i feel spechial!!! .....welcome to USY fall convention '98 i think....whenever the hell i went out with Ari.. hehe... oh man...that was the best convention

Emerson once wrote, "whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist". I didn't realize how true this aphorism was until I went to my youth group's convention, in the fall just after my sixteenth birthday. I walked through the clear glass doors of the Sheraton Hotel in Norfolk acting like a simple carbon copy of everyone else attending the convention, and I left knowing that I could be an individual if I just acted on my own impulses instead of obsessing over what other people's perceptions of me were.
Before this convention I hated youth group activities. Nobody knew me and I was too self-conscious to introduce myself. Instead I became a shadow of the only person I knew attending the convention, and watched as everyone else enjoyed meeting new friends. I observed my peers as one would watch a TV set or a window, as if I was looking in from the outside. And everyone treated me like a window or a television, something to look at, but not someone to talk to or build friendships with.
My perspective changed at this convention when I met Viva, the most self reliant, nonconforming individual I have ever met. She was wearing two-inch platformed flip-flops, large, baggy pants that covered her legs all the way down to her toes, and a light blue shirt that glittered when it hit the light at just the right angle. She had a loud personality to match her clothes as well, which showed as she introduced herself to every single person she met along the hallways on the way to her room.
I became Viva's shadow, hoping some of her self-confidence would rub off onto me. I hoped her excessive colorfulness would mask my colorlessness. Soon enough the transformation happened. I watched Viva unpack, and at the bottom of her suitcase were four cold, metal cans of nonpermanent hair dye. I shared with her my secret, long desired wish for blue hair. Before I had time to reconsider, Viva transformed my ordinary brown hair to the color of a smurf's nose. Then I could no longer consider myself insecure and colorless.
Whoever said that blonds have more fun obviously never experienced the joys of having blue hair. I skipped throughout the hotel like a five year old on a playground. With blue hair I completely forgot about my goal of blending in with the crowd. How could I possibly fit in with electric blue hair? Knowing that I was going to stand out no matter what I did, I resolved to take advantage of this opportunity and not worry about what people would think of me. Then later, I could always blame my actions on the fumes I must have inhaled from the hair dye. While my hair was blue I introduced myself to as many people as I could, made a ton of new friends who I still keep in touch with today, judged a spitting contest from the balcony of the third floor, started a deep, thought provoking conversation at dinner about the nutritional value of a package of Sweet & Low, and during a discussion session I announced to a room of people that I was holy because my hair was blue. By nonconforming I was being myself in a wild, somewhat extreme way.
The next morning after washing out the blue hair dye nothing changed. The self-confidence that came from having blue hair didn't wash away with the dye. Even without the outward appearance of nonconformity, I was still nonconforming in my actions. I still skipped instead of walked, talked to almost anyone, and was generally more outgoing than I had ever been. And, surprisingly, the friends that I had made with blue hair were still my friends when my hair was brown. This experience taught me that if I act like myself, believe in myself, and trust myself, true friends will like me for who I am, no matter how unoriginal or eccentric my hair color may be.
Emerson's aphorism, "whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist" makes sense to me now looking back on this situation. Nonconforming made me feel more capable of expressing myself, which made me feel more important and involved in my community, and thus more like man. Nonconforming doesn't have to involve looking eccentric, it is only about self-expression. When I dyed my hair blue I learned to be a nonconformist by expressing my own identity, thus I became my own woman, proving Emerson's aphorism to be true.
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JT is retarded..and apperently looking for love

on one note..i have a craving for tomato soup....cambells of course

on a whole other note.. what does everyone want.. respond in a comment.. and i mean everyone.. email me or something

i'm bitching out JT right now.....

DivaVivaLF (9:44:15 PM): you suck
hermes52384 (9:44:26 PM): what?

DivaVivaLF (9:44:34 PM): suck!
hermes52384 (9:44:49 PM): why?

DivaVivaLF (9:45:24 PM): you dont write me, you dont call me, nothing.... arent we supposably going out or something...i asked me out and then u never call me...u suck

hermes52384 (9:46:23 PM): I'm so SO sorry
hermes52384 (9:46:41 PM): I am SO caught up in my school shit

DivaVivaLF (9:46:53 PM): punk....right right.. excuses excuses

hermes52384 (9:48:45 PM): will you forgive me

DivaVivaLF (9:48:56 PM): what will u do to make it up to me
hermes52384 (9:49:22 PM): what do you have in mind?

DivaVivaLF (9:49:29 PM): i dunno......make me an offer

hermes52384 (9:50:58 PM): one you cannot refuse
DivaVivaLF (9:51:25 PM): make me an offer and i'll let u know if i refuse it or not

hermes52384 (9:51:36 PM): sex viva

DivaVivaLF (9:51:46 PM): something that you wont back out of

hermes52384 (9:53:46 PM): ouch!
hermes52384 (9:53:51 PM): that stung

DivaVivaLF (9:54:16 PM): its true though...... you will not have sex with me....if u were you would have done it already.....there were plenty of opportunities

hermes52384 (9:55:02 PM): and plenty more to cum
hermes52384 (9:55:05 PM): hehe

DivaVivaLF (9:55:12 PM): yeah right...
DivaVivaLF (9:55:35 PM): when? .......what? when u never call me? come visit? yeah thats when
DivaVivaLF (9:55:38 PM): punk

( why does a conversation always turn into somethign about sex)

hermes52384 (9:56:19 PM): it has to happen all of a suddenly or it's no fun
hermes52384 (9:56:33 PM): Viva!

DivaVivaLF (9:56:44 PM): that is SO not true
DivaVivaLF (9:56:58 PM): all of a sudden being never?

hermes52384 (9:57:41 PM): no
hermes52384 (9:58:28 PM): me and you could go at it like rabbits, but that won't make it special

DivaVivaLF (9:59:16 PM): who says it needs to be special... it will be fun....but who said special...i didnt..

hermes52384 (10:01:24 PM): I did. I'm tired of one nighters! It sucks

DivaVivaLF (10:01:40 PM): who said one night
DivaVivaLF (10:02:01 PM): hermes52384 (9:56:19 PM): it has to happen all of a suddenly or it's no fun
DivaVivaLF (10:02:09 PM): you said fun
DivaVivaLF (10:02:11 PM): not special

hermes52384 (10:02:27 PM): it has to be both
DivaVivaLF (10:02:32 PM): why

hermes52384 (10:04:58 PM): I don't know
hermes52384 (10:05:05 PM): it just does
hermes52384 (10:05:11 PM): and you know it

DivaVivaLF (10:05:21 PM): it can be fun and not special
DivaVivaLF (10:05:31 PM): its just sex
DivaVivaLF (10:05:40 PM): thats what ur offering anyway.... its not love

hermes52384 (10:05:54 PM): thats it!
DivaVivaLF (10:06:06 PM): what?

hermes52384 (10:06:55 PM): I'm looking for LOVE viva, thats what I need right now. Some to LOVEand someone to LOVEme back
hermes52384 (10:07:23 PM): I'm tired

DivaVivaLF (10:07:29 PM): then why offer sex..... to make up to me for everything you havent done if thats not what you want

hermes52384 (10:07:54 PM): I don't know, maybe I was hoping
hermes52384 (10:08:06 PM): but there is no hope here

DivaVivaLF (10:08:13 PM): well i can never love you unless we spend time together and we cant do that unless u call me

hermes52384 (10:08:36 PM): give me your number one last time
DivaVivaLF (10:08:52 PM): 301-254-5308 is my cell number

hermes52384 (10:09:11 PM): hold on
DivaVivaLF (10:09:19 PM): k
hermes52384 (10:09:34 PM): ok I wrote them down
DivaVivaLF (10:09:43 PM): good

hermes52384 (10:09:53 PM): gtg I will call you tommorrow
hermes52384 (10:10:05 PM): bye love

DivaVivaLF (10:10:14 PM): ok .. by the way if u ever want to look for me i'm at the mall every afternoon except fridays... and the weekends
DivaVivaLF (10:10:28 PM): cause its on my way home from class.... bye

hermes52384 (10:10:47 PM): bye
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