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DivaVivaLeFreek's delusional thoughts -- Day [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | viva sigal sahar ]
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[03 Dec 2001|12:25am]
apperently jenny brought her livejournal back..weird
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FUCK LOROUSHE!!! [03 Dec 2001|07:35pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

or however yhou fuckin spell it..

today was fine up until the fuckin loroushe people started fuckin with me.... OH MY FUCKIN GOD.. ok my friend was about to give them money (which she doesnt have a lot of) cause one of the guys fuckin looked good... so i took her aside and told her not to and explained why..then the fuckin guy comes up and is all like preaching to me about how everyone should fuckin be like la rouche and what not..and he was like yeah all you care about is yourself and ur trendyness" i'm like i care about people..and he was like no you dont...i was like i dont care about you or la roushe but i do care about people and i'm all about comfort i really dont give a shit what people thing of me..i'm not trying to fuckin impress anyone....he was like no your narcistic and trendy.... or whatever....i was like yeah. you see people everywhere wearing duct tape pants (which i was wearing today).... who is he to fuckin judge me based on appearence.. what the fuck is that.....i'm SO fuickin aggrivated....i'm swear i'm going to kick ihim in the balls tomarrow and be like who are you to fuckin jugde me.... i usually dont give a shit about his fuckin bullshit...but for some reason this is really REALLY bothering me and i cannot stop thinking about it.... oh my god its aggrivating.... i'm SO pissed off....today i joined a gang...of liek 7 nerds who like duct tape... and we are going to throw the la roushe table in the duck pond....speaking of that FUCKIN duck pond...there was another duck there....another one! now there are fuckin THREE DUCKS!...i hate those ducks...other than that..i made more new friends..go me... i went to class.... did 3 lessons...i'm TERRIFIED of going to english tomarrow....ii cannot write..i'm so going to fail that class....i really hate facing reality...i dont know what to do....i cried like 5 times today..i saw ET for liek literally 2 seconds....i was sad...oh some guy naemd Joe who's my new friend kept hitting on me... i mean he's nice and all but like 10 minuets after i met him he was trying to kiss me and i was like no...i dont think so.... my appointment thing consisted of getting a facial..which was nice.... i realize i need a massage or something i'm WAY too tense... oh my god...i';m still mad... grr...i chain-smoked like 6 ciggs....i was really bad.... but those FUCKIN PEOPLE... GOD..they should be shot....twice.. 6 times....grr

ANYWAY... i need a hug.... i'm going to cry again.. i dont get offende that often but those people fuckin offend me...who are they to fuckin judge people....its actually really sad that those peolpe have nothing better to do than stand there all day fuckin harassing people

i love the theatre people..i wanna take broadcasting in radio or something.. but i dont know if i can do that yet...

when i left school i saw AC and twiggs at the mall...it was good to see them.... really good....

anyway.... i'm hungry and there is NOTHING to fuckin eat.... GEEZ

i'm not mad at Jpaul anymore.. at all i dont think... i just dont like him judgeing my friends and wanted to change everyone.... wow... hmm....anyway

jeremy called me last night....apperently his girlfriend sends me kisses...i was like whoa..jeremy's girlfriend wants me...weird....

so yeah this morning i duct taped my pants...not all the way...but enough....i need more duct tape....i'm almost out...

anyway.. yeah....i'm home..call if u want....

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[03 Dec 2001|09:08pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i really miss my cd player.....i want my cds to be played....in the portible sense...i might try asking my mom for 70$ to get a new one...but i doubt she'll say yes.. iwant food or to search for food but that involves going downstairs and facing parents and i dont think i'm up to it...i dont think anyone's ever made me feel this horrible...except for maybe jon stein...but those FUCKIN people...oh man... geez...anyway..boston public was sad..and weird...but the dude who is a rapist or something looks like Blaire from road rules....which was weird....and i love bill withers...cause he's the shit..

i really need a hug

wow i feel shitty

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[03 Dec 2001|09:09pm]
close your eyes, you're beautiful when your sleepin
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[03 Dec 2001|09:28pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

there is nothing to eat... my mom wont let me have some of her food..so i have nothing to eat... i'm SO Fuckin hungry... all i had was like half a cup of noodles... and that was like at 11 this mornign.... i'm really HUNGRY... FUCK.....i went downstairs and my mom is like come talk to me..and i'm like no i dont want to talk and she's all ike what's wrong..and i was like i dont wanna talk ....and she's all dont get a fuckin attitude with me...i was like just leave me alone...jesus ....why cant you fuckin comprehend that i dont want to fuckin talk..then of course she bitched about myu profanity...WHATEVER>>>> get a FUCKIN CLUE!!!!!....i'm really tempted to just walk to the fuckin village...but that involves pants (as opposed to shorts) and walking and a bitch of cold outside... so ten to one i probably just wont east....hopefully i'll eat tomarrow.... i cant stop fuckin crying....things are definatly not going anywhere close to my way at all


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[03 Dec 2001|09:33pm]
now i find my self in question
they point the finger at me again
guilty by association
you point the finger at me again

i wanna run away
and never say goodbye
i wanna know the truth
instead of wondering why
i wanna know the answers
no more lies
i wanna shut the door
and open up my mind
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[03 Dec 2001|09:36pm]
i want to cut myself to feel something other than what i feel now...but people would worry or like be mad or something..so i'm not....yet anyway
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[03 Dec 2001|10:36pm]
[ mood | infuriated ]

Oh my fuckin god...why cant u just understand that i dont wanna talk to anyone tongiht....just leave me the fuck alone!!!! by i dont wanna tlak to anyone..means i dont wanna talk about schoola nd i'm sorry your busy the rest of the fuckin week with massage crapo but i do NOT wanmt to talk about it right now.. so just leave me the fuck alone....FUCKINE MOTHERS!!>..god fuicking damnit

i'm going fucking nuts

i'm not sorry i suck at academics and i'm NOT sorry i dont have a liscense and i'm not sorry i dont have a job..so just get the fuck off my back

no i really dont hear u bitching to jack that i'm an ungrateful little bitch..i dont fuckin hear you at all..

tomarrow i'm leaving....i do NOT want to go home tomarrow night.....can icrash at someone's house....i cannot stay here... at all


i've gottent o the point where i'm fycking histerycal..... i cannot stop crying at all... fyck..these are just the the things that make u want to fuckin hurt yourself i swear to fuckin god

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[03 Dec 2001|10:43pm]
maybe evil is right..i should just quit school and get a job... or i should just quit eerything... or i can always become a fuckup like my brother...apperently i'm on the road to it according to evil..

i'm so positive i'm going to have some random outburst of violence tomarrow....i'm liabe to beat the shit out of anyone who pisses me off even more than i am in the slightest bit... i have enough rage in me to probably kil someone or send them to the hospital or something....

wow this just could not have been a better fuckin day right
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[03 Dec 2001|11:08pm]
i'm having trouble breathing
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[03 Dec 2001|11:12pm]
[ mood | clinical ]

i'm having trouble breathing........life has neverr gotten as bad as this....with exceptions of stuff

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