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DivaVivaLeFreek's delusional thoughts -- Day [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | viva sigal sahar ]
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ok i dont like crying all that much to begin with..but i really hate it when i dont know why i'm crying! [23 Dec 2001|01:54am]
[ mood | sad ]

the dinner went great.. kimi is AMAZING....there is no other word to descibe it... she looked great too.. i was just in shock the entire night... the dinner was good...granted i didnt eat.. but everyone said it was really good.. thanx to everyone that brought food.. ... justin and chris made really good smoothie thingies..like REALLY good.. but there was a limited amount.. it ended up.. Kimi, Rob, AC, Twiggs, Brett, Brit, hana, mike(hana's bitch), buff, David (buff's bitch), mike hannagan, nicole, robbie, peter, Robert, Jeremy, Fedeli, jenny , chris, ryan, erica, justin, scotty, dinae and gini showed up later as did marc canada.. ..it was cool... i'm definatly cut out for the hosting thing..it just smacks of effort.....i have a headache...and it sucks to be a woman....i'm not mad at ET even though i should be... i'm not mad.....i'm sad.... i dont know if thats possible...i'm sad at him..he promised he would be on time.....then called and was like..i'm gonna be late.. but only until like 8:30..then he called at like 9 and was like..yeha i'll be there at 10:30..and he got to my house at liek 11:45..... and like left at like 12:15.. whatever.....i dont care...i dont love him....adn if i do...i dont know it..... i dont think i do....no.... whatever.... he owes me

all night all i did was watch Kimi..listn to her talk... all i wanted to do was hold her all night.. but rob was doing that.. and i dunno i figured she might be like..no ur clingy go away or something.....i dont think i'm as intimidated by anyone in the world as her.. all i want to do is make her happy and i have not a clue as to how to do it....

i cant stop crying...i hate it.....i dont even know why i'm crying....its pissing me off....

tomarrow...i clean

i got presents..... a BITCHASS lotta bubble wrap..my bday was duct tape.. festivus is bubble wrap...it works....i got earings and nailpolish from brit.. SAFETY PIN EARINGS!!!!!... i also got a nipple candy bottle thingie..and a PRETTY scrf thingie from ryan..adn a photo thingie from scotty....and a strip poker card game from justin....hahaha...... Kimi got me a book....which is funny cause all during the holidays all i could think about was when i was 12 and my uncle got me a book and how cool it was.. and i wanted that feeling again..adn she got me a book.....without even knowing i wanted one...i definatly love her...i got a gift certificate to denny's.. from chris.. it was neato.. go dennys..

i feel sick.... stupid tears.... whatever

mirabai went to NY.....i'm so mad..she wasnt supposed to go until tomarrow... grr... she was suppose to help me cook and stuff.....btu i dunno..i would have really liked her to be here....

biggie hates me now...cause i said he couldnt come....i feel SO bad....cause a whole lotta people showed up uninvited.. and stuff.. and it was ok.. but like another reason i didnt invite him is cause he starts fights and stuff.. its true..justin knows what i'm talkin about.. yeah..but i love him....and i hope he doesnt hate me.... robbie came in and was like "i have a message from biggie.... he says 'fuck you '" ... i wa slike....that sucks...

i have random parts of the night on tape.....i secretly video taped the whole thign.... mwuahahaha.....

oh and hana.... MY BOOB ITCHES!!!! are u happy now...... u and ur goddamn cheesefrys....

i'm going to jeff's party tomarrow.....but i'm probably gonna leave early to try and get to sonny's by like 4:;30-5pm... ish.. i dunno....i'd have to leave at liek 3:30..adn that would suck.... hmm.....i wanna go though....so i dunno....whatev....

i dotn have a ride to jeff's thign.... i dont wana take the bus....i might not go... i want to .....but i really dont wanna take the bus and/or metro....for real....

i dunno....

whatever..i'm tired.... whatever

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today [23 Dec 2001|11:54am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

today is JEff's birthday!... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF!!!!

last night ET called.. and i didnt say much..i really didnt know what to say.. i feel sick...but thats probably from it sucking to be a woman and stuff..... i was crying until about 4am last night..and then i fell asleepand woke up like 5 min ago....i DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG!!!!!!!!! BAH! its really bothering me.. cause if i knew what was wrong i could find a way to fix it...but i dont!... grr....

Click here to take
the quiz!

that sucks...i wanted to be donatello.. fuck you online quizes....

jeff's party is today..i might not go..i dont have a ride....i'm not walking or taking the bus...i refuse.....so if i dont get a call or anything about someone that can give me a ride....i wont go...i think its that simple

Shira-- have a good time in California!

.i'm not cryign anymore..but i think i'm liable to do so at any moment.....

i dont know whats up..i need a hug....i'm going to go shower

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[23 Dec 2001|11:55am]
oh..chris u left a card from erica at my house......

ryan u left a gift from scotty at my house..

it hink thats it
1 comment|post comment

[23 Dec 2001|12:19pm]
god i want a ciggarette


Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's so empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i'll protect you
from all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
imagine where you are
there's oceans in between us
but that's not very far

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
when ya shoved it in my face
explain again to me

Can you take it all away
can you take it all away
when ya shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
there's noone left that's real
to make up your ending
and let me know just how you feel
cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
my whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
you could be my sea
you know that i will save you
from all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us
but that's not very far


Nobody told me what you thought
nobody told me what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
told you where to runaway
nobody told you where to hide
nobody told you what to say
everyone showed you where to turn
showed you where to runaway


Explain again to me

you take it all
you take it all away...
explain again to me
you take it all away
explain again to me
take it all away
explain again
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[23 Dec 2001|12:49pm]
marc frankel and ashely german just caleld me from International convention!!!.....i love them
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[23 Dec 2001|01:23pm]
[ mood | sad that i cant get to jeffs party ]

i'm going to go walking...probably to the mall if no one can pick me up or something... if someone can..call my cellphone 301-254-5308.. or to hang out or i'm SO too weak to try and go all the way to white flint by bus....so i'm not...sorry

note to jeff...i love you a whole lot....i hope u have a good party

lates all.....call if u need me.. or wanna hang out or somethign

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