December 28th, 2001


today and other stuff

other stuff first:

ok..anyone else really sick of hearing about jenny and matt and how they are together....jenny..i love you girl..i consider you a friend..and i dont care about most of your bullshit.. but you write about matt..adn the SAME things over and over and over and over and OVER again.. the EXACT same thing.. nothing different... "matt and i are together and nothing can change that" ..." matt and i are still going strong".. i'm all for ur relationship..its good that two people can find eachother and hold on for as long as you two have ...but u dont need to repeat yourself a hundred times.. i'm too serious..

now on to today

i DID end up at the mall....go figure.....i walked there though... there was this dude on the road who had the coolest cloak rocked..i was tempted to go up and ask him if i could have it.. but i was like angry and listening to my Lakadaisies Cd at full volume.. speak your mind , and Hey little revised mokey, are my favorite songs...oh and Not my fault one too... but yeah..i was upset about the whole jeff's mom being mad thing and the whole kimi thing.. and stuff.. so i goto the mall.....i talk to AC in suncoast. and Biggie was there...he and i are definatly cool now..i love him..he rocks.. we went down to EBX and he bought me a mini-light brite and mini-etch eschetch.. as my holiday presents... i think i'm gonna start a collection of mini-games.. they ROCK.. then biggie left.... i ran into Zack.. he was nice to me.. then zack went somewhere..i talked to erik for like 3 hours..then randomly saw Steve and his new girlfriend Tara...and one of the twins.. tara seems nice.. like i heard a lot of really bad stuff abuot her.. but she seems nice.. and i love steve.. then they left.. and i went back up to suncoast.. then i went back to EBX.. talked to erik for longer.. then AC got off work..and we ran into Peter and Robbie.. then we ran into Oreo!!!! i havent seen Oreo in forever..and it was funny cause we were talking about him earlier today.. by we i mena me and AC.. oh man..Oreo is SO cool!>.he is my baby's daddy.. Mac's daddy..o h yeah..he still works at bob evens.. for new years he's staying at hoem with his son.. justice.. who is 2 now.. his kid is SO cute.. oreo has one cute kid.. oh man.. i love oreo.. then.. me and AC.. left.. well peter gave us a ride to Rob's house..where Kimi was... we had been trying to call kimi all day to go see a movie and stuff... so we get to Rob's .. kim and Ryan (yeah stalkish ryan) are there.. and we're like.. ok ryan's back in town.. and apperently we decide to go xsee Lord of the rings.. so we get there.. we GOT IN!!!!.. the movie wasnt sold out.. we went to the 10pm showing.. Kim, Rob and Ryan went to go save seats..i went with AC while she smoked a cig.. we talked.. about kimi and stuff like that.. at Rob's hosue..i watched her.. how beautiful she is.. with rob.. if i could be one guy in the entire world, i'd be rob.. he's smart and funny and talented and artistic and strong, and huggable and he has a big penis.. and kimi loves him.. at my dinner they were together and it just was right.. and like all i wanted to do was be rob.. and like hold kimi and kiss her and just hold her.. but its not the same if it was with me.. so i was talking to AC..and we talked and talked and talked.. and i realize i cant be with kimi.. i'm scared.. of everythign.. whenever we're together..i just distance myself out of fear she'll think i'm clingy or something.. i cant live like that.. she cant live like that.. as i said a MIllion and 3 times before..i could be perfectly happy with kimi for the rest of my life.. even just watching her.. but i know that she couldnt be happy with me.. and it sucks that i cant be that for her and it sucks even more that i realize it and i know that i have to stop trying...cause i know it will just not work out.. she doesnt want me..adn i have to accept it.. its ok though....cause i can still be her friend...and she will always be one of the coolest, most amazing people in the entire universe...she'll always be there for me and i'll always be there for her.. but as i friend and i can love her still and respect that..i love her..i'm madly in love with her and i probably always will be.. ..but i get it.... i finally get it... and its ok..... like after the movie and my random dehydration episode (more on that later).. she and AC came to me while i was sitting on a ebnch and kimi put her arms around me and hugged me from behind.. and i started crying.. and as i sit here crying now.. i realize it will be ok.. it just takes time and stuff.. right?... god i hope the movie.. right.. it was ok..if u havent read the books.. it makes u want to read it.... i think it could have been better though.. elijah wood is adorable....the old wizard dude is cool... the elf guys are cool.. and cate blanchet rocks my world..she was OCMPLETLY AWESOME! hobbit butt love... go SAM!.. haha....AC is funny.. i was on the asile.. then AC..then kimi and then rob and then ryan.. i had to sit next to AC..adn what would happen is she would scream..and ithen grab my arm..then we'd crack up and then kim would look at us weird and the people in front of us would be like "sshh"... or she would cry and then start laughing.. the movie fill her with emotions.. crying, laughing, screaming.. it was too funny.. and the people in front of us got pissed off.. Ryan apperently had fallen asleep.. Kimi was uner rob's arm the whole time.. AC gave me some hispanic type of alcotzeltzer to help me with my taste like sprite.. during the movie i got dehydrated but the water fountains were all kinds of i couldnt get water..after we lef the thatere i started coughing up a bitch and went to the bathroom and threw up and it was gross.. .. then rob's mom picked us up and it was cool... OH i saw corrine..she was with some guy and her little sister.. she's cool.. then rob dropped AC off and then me and then kimi.. and thats my story

Erik re-asked me out again today...i sitll dont know what to say to him..

wow my eyes hurt from crying so wonder how long i'm gonna feel like this.. oy.... man bein in love sucks


You're just a girl; you tend to get frustrated easily, you daydream quite a bit, and you try to avoid making trouble, though curiosity always gets the better of you. Even under tight circumstances, however, you put aside (some of) your fear and figure out what's the best thing to do. You want a better understanding of your world. </td>

  • Current Music
    Puddle of Mudd - Blurry..juliana theory-the closest thing..... lakadaisies--speak your mind

(no subject)

i love chris

because he's right.. almost all the time....especially when in difficult situations
  • Current Music
    Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

(no subject)

i did not sleep well at all.... oy.....then people kept fucking calling hte house every 10 minuets ,......then marc frankel called and i love him

and he's really really good friends with ashley right now and i'm happy....and apperently he met evan rosenberg at International convention

i also love buff.. to the fullest extent as buff love will go!..

anyone wanna go up to the bowling alley today for like 10 minuets just to say hi.. chris.....wanna hang out or somehting in general...

Hey JOE!! where's your advice now??


yeah i'm me at home....or on the cell.i have it...whatever....
  • Current Music
    The Juliana Theory - The Closest Thing To Perfect

job interview? my mom got me a job interview at ROckys Video in fox chappel i'm doing that this morning..but i'm free any other time....i told my mom about the alcotzletzer thignies.. she was like .. but the writing is all in spanish..and i was like ..dont worry their legal....hehe.. well thats what AC said anyway

apperently Tihanna called me yesterday..what?.....
  • Current Music
    Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

Oh rocky!

so the job interview didnt... and i got there..adn this dude named Dale..he's cool..he watches independent films..he rocks.. he was lke "Tara isnt oming in today".. (tara being the chick i was supposed to talk to) i wrote down my info on a peice of mom had gone to kinkos..but she was lke taking FOREVEr.. so i was just like waiting in Rocky's Video..

dale and i were just like chatitng about MK and shit and movies and the MCCC (mont count cable co.)

i'm bored again....i dont want to be alone
i wanna hang out with chris..but he might goto his grandmothers oor somethign... i SO need a day to just chill with him at his house watching movies or buffy or somethign...he doesnt even need to make speghettie (even though it would be a bonus)..i just need one of those days

uch... i wish my mom would just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!.... ur sick..i get quiet.....

they know i HATE, LOTHE, and DESPISE, emptying the dishwasher....yet the ask me to do it anyway.....not that i dont do the dishes....(CAUSE I DO..ALL THE TIME).....its really fuickin aggrivating..

i love hana.....

yeah..i'm home.callme or pick me up and take me away....

Robbie's Words (he wrote them)


There is a common saying of a topic being a double-edged sword.
Few can truly realize the truth behind that statement.
In recent events I have found out the true meaning of it.
On the topic of Love
Love is in fact the true double-edged sword.
When you first taste the sweet nectar of it you are in a perpetual infatuation, which indulges the senses and a mind-blowing hysteria through happiness.
Alas when it is gone you mourn it like you morn the sweet fruit bore from it.
Yet like the fruit you know it will be returning next season.
Yet you cannot help but morn.
This mourning process is not so much of a depression but a period of deep thought.
These thoughts may be transcended upon oneself by certain things or people.
In my case its none of these.
My case is brought on by the fact that without the ever-present love by my side I feel as though i am nothing, i am insignificant, i am a dull drunkard, and I am a self-loathing heathen.
Some how im loved by the one magical and spiritual soul.
One may ask what I have done to deserve the wonders brought on by such a magnificent love.
This is yet another question I do not know the answer to.
All I know is the pain felt that consists of emptiness and nothingness is unbearable without the thought of our souls intertwining in a spiritual journey across the sands of time.
The journey I speak of is life.
Getting through this journey is the grimmest prospect a wretched soul such as myself can comprehend.
The thought of going on without the two souls combined in a special bond created through the luck of god is even more incomprehensible.
The mere fact of losing this special relationship brings nothing but despair.
No less one cannot but help to think of it.
Why you may ask.
The reason is usually brought forth upon by others total lack of understanding or caring.
This total disregard to human emotions brings war, bitterness, and down right the ugliest thing a person can show.
This thing is there true self.
So few feel they can show themselves as there natural selves because they in fact are the most vile and disgusting people.
To be able to have found one who is truly the most magnificent soul wandering this desolate earth is by far the greatest achievement I have ever accomplished while inhabiting the wretched carcass.
Due to the fact of finding this truly breath taking soul I am here today.
I cannot hope but be freed from this bitter loathing brought forth by others and myself.
This freedom will only be achieved by being reunited with my companion in life.
This shall happen in due time.
To think of it not happening is to imagine getting slashed and watching your glistening blood flow from your body.
Its a utter disbelief that is not understandable by anyonly the distraught.
The only thing man can do is wake the next day with grim prospects of being one with the benevolent surroundings that have been in contact with them for so long.
This belief is what man lives for.
Thank the stars for the most fascinating and wonderful thing known as human love.

SatansWaRpAsylum: and guess what
DivaVivaLF: what?

SatansWaRpAsylum: i was like inspired to write that at yo party dinner thing and a few of the lines i had thought up there = p
DivaVivaLF: wowies..i feel spechial

SatansWaRpAsylum: he he but u didnt really influence it
SatansWaRpAsylum: but if u never had the party i never woulda wrote that

DivaVivaLF: thats cool.i dont care... its all good..... u thought of cool stuff to write at my house.. go house
  • Current Music
    Coolio - See You When You Get There

(no subject)

why does my stepdad think if i'm in the room he has to talk to me!!!! i await the day where he'll walk by..see me.. and just not say ANYTHING! or not make some stupid noise.... just anything.. OMG it drives me to insanity...

someone called me ..i have no clue who it was.... weird 240-numbers..

i completly forgot today was friday....

tomarrow is that SMYLE party thing.... do i reallly want to go??

kimi called.. she was walkin around the village.. apperently some guy was folowing her or something and then was like "your cute " or something and gave her his number.. whatev.. but yeah.. she's got family stuff to do tonight and like tomarrow night.. but during the day we might do something....or crash rob's house and hang out there.. or something..... maybe.. i dunno....

i miss people...certain people.. me at home

UCH stupid people piss me off

CW23TIDE [2:55 PM]: i can make you stop and focus on somehting else
DivaVivaLeFreek [2:55 PM]: i doubt it...sorry....

CW23TIDE [2:55 PM]: your loss

DivaVivaLeFreek [2:56 PM]: u have some magic potion thats gonna make me stop coughing..i doubt it

DivaVivaLeFreek [2:56 PM]: i'm sure it is my loss
CW23TIDE [2:56 PM]: i might
  • Current Music
    lakadaisies- perfect time

(no subject)

OH i dont get the apartment on Jan 1st..for my test stepdad took off of work and is driving me..... asshole.... they ALWAYs have to ruin ALL of my fun..they were supposed to go away for 2 weeks... they didnt.... i was supposed to just be alone....and i cant.. and now all they do is bitch and stuff... AAHH,...fuckin parents......if my mom gets better...she says she's going away for a week to florida starting jnuary 1st...but thats if she gets better..whatever...parents suck
  • Current Music
    The Juliana Theory - The Closest Thing To Perfect

have fun at the beach


"So about Kimi. You love her - that's all you can do. If she won't love you back - you can't be hold yourself at fault for that. Sure - it sucks - but you wouldn't want her to do something she didn't want to do. So say she decides to be with you cause you want her there and she's doing it for you - how long will it last? Then when she has to leave - it will hurt even more. Better to take her as a friend then lose her forever. "--joe

and he's right... its so true

and its all i'm ok now.... i'm not like clinical or anything..i feel as though i s hould be..but i'm not.. but its ok...

chris MIGHT randonly stop by...i hope i hope i hope...
  • Current Music
    Our lady peace --automatic flowers

(no subject)

robyn;s a slut.. she apperently hooked up with some guy at IC and like broke him nd his girlfriend up.. then got COUGHT hooking up (and more).. haha.... OMG..i''m like.. HAHA....i find it funny..i'm not sure why..



i'm still home..i've been uploading cds onto my computer in wma form..

Our lady Peace

and more are coming
  • Current Music
    Sev - Techno

Random COnversations

DivaVivaLF: yo....this is chris
Auto response from Marc8382: Bored.....

DivaVivaLF: you bored?
DivaVivaLF: bitch where are you?
DivaVivaLF: we're bored too?
DivaVivaLF: call soemone's cell phone 301-254-5308 or 301-502-3403...we are bored and need to do soemthing destrective.
DivaVivaLF: "like your mom"--your mom
DivaVivaLF: aka viva

Apparently Jenny deleted her Livejournal.....AGAIN!!!!!!
  • Current Music
    "I Touch Myself" -Divynals

(no subject)

chris and i went to Jerrys and looked at Gay man porn! and adn then went to my house and now we are awaiting on marc (CANADA) tio come over and chill with us..we went to petsmart to attempt to find erica..but she wasnt there..

canada is here and chris is playing chip n dales erscue rangers..

anyway..we are probably gonna just watch a movie and whatnot.... feel free to come by..

  • Current Music

(no subject)

my nose is all kinds of stuffy....but if i blwomy nose..i get SO dizzy to the point i like fall down.. headache and all...

marc and chris are playing mario 1.. marc was playing duck hunt and like shootin ducks...haha