December 29th, 2001



me, chris and marc watched cruel intentions 2 ..cause marc hadnt seen it..then we watched porn.. with captioning of course..and the ugly chick had a REALLY pretty tattoo...and then chris left soonafter.. then me and marc chatted about ass as usuall and whats goin on.. college life and stuff... then watched Cheers and Drew Carrey... cheers is SO the best show in the entire world.. anyway.. then marc and i started talking about red Shoe Diaries.. (Like USY porn...go fall conventions--david duchovny).. and it was funny..cause that came on (the same episode) right after we talked about it..and we were like..WHOA david duchovny porn.. hehe....then we talked a little more..made fun of more porn.. then marc left.. funny quotes were somethign about breathing or something and something else... i dont remember.. chris knows how to eat a popcycle... OMG i'm definatly impressed..he's gonna make some boy really really happy

and now the emotional stuff... everyone should read Kim's journal..bigtittykimi

i dont know robert P.. but if he treats you like shit and doesnt respect you , then its not worth it.. at all.. but i said it before..just in more words ....if i could choose anyone in the ENTIRE world besides me for kim to be with.. who i know would respect and love kim the way she deserve to be loved and respected.. it would definatly be rob..there is NO doubt whatsoever.. and all i want is for her to be happy.. and as much as it completly sucks for me.. and i know that it couldnt work out...i'm ok... i'm ok with being friends..cause at least i have the privilage of having such a great friend.. all my friends actually.. i dont think i could ask for anything more than the friends i have.. at all... but yeah.. its ok.. all i want her to know is that i will always love her and be there for her.. no matter what.. and it will all work out.. just do what is in your heart.. there is a song lyric..i dont remember it exactly or who its by.. but its like somethign about a path and leading to the heart and making its way through stuff... it was really pretty and fits well into the situation..anyway...i want ET to call so i can cry to him....he always has somethign to say.. he never not has somethign to say..

enough emo crap for now.. i cant deal with it....if i cry anymore than i have nose is gonna explode..... my ears keep popping and i keep getting dizzy..and its annoyign....

i DO NOT know whats up with tomarrow...i definatly gotta talk to my daddy about the smyle party.. iif that doesnt work out...chris might come over and whore himself to my nintendo..

i've been sick for about a month now... this cant be good....even though i know i'm not contagious anymore...the whole coughing, dehydrating bullshit sucks my ass....

i miss louis hofheimer

congrats on erica's new car (well old car but new to her)

oh and jenny needs to get a fuckin mind of her own..she deleted her LJ again cause fedeli didnt want her to have one....thats bullshit... grow up

quote of the night"
"eyes are closed wake up and see the sun
rain drops keep falling from my eyes must i run
must i run to you with open arms
open my eyes and i'm back to square one"-SEV-techno
  • Current Music
    lakadaisies- not my fault

(no subject)

i just took about 6 different types of sinus pills....hopefully one of them will work..or i'll fall asleep for like 16 hours......which i doubt

if i had straight hair..i would do my hair in a 70's style man haircute.. all over to the side and then pointy in front.. all week...for no reason...i just think it would be fun.......stupid curley hair
  • Current Music
    Sev - Stand Straight


i think i'm gonna bake cookies tomarrow....depending on how i feel..i dont think i'm gonna goto the party..but maybe kim will come over and bake cookies with me...and then we can take them to Rob's house.. hehe.. as an extra holiday present..i dont think the can of tomatoe soup was enough... even though my heart and soul did go into it.. and he loved it...hehe.. go tomatoe soup

i think i went off my original topic....i'm confused

go cookies
  • Current Music
    Puddle of Mudd - Blurry

(no subject)

You Are A Flaming Homo

Gay, queer, lesbo... you're familiar with all the terms. You are most likely homo- or bisexual, or at least affiliated somehow with the lifestyle. You may like anime, but is it only for the yaoi and bishounen? It must be admitted that you have excellent taste in clothes...
Take The Flaming Quiz at Fire For Ice!
Quiz by fire4ice
  • Current Music
    Splender - Monotone

(no subject)

i have mood swings..... one minuet i'm really sad..then i'll be like hyper or something or randomly laughing..then i'll start crying....somethign is wrong with me


i also have a LOT of problems witht he word "and" just doesnt wanna work for me
  • Current Music
    Splender - Space Boy

(no subject)

ok...i woke up at like 7.. and now i woke up again..i feel like crap..and my eye (s) are really bothering left one hurts..i feel like there's a byump there or something..adn my right one keeps tearing up.. ..its odd..

granted its only 9:20am..and the party thing doesnt start until 12.. i doubt i'm gonna go..

anyway..i'm home.. lates
  • Current Music
    lakadaisies-perfect time

"how high am i said the sky to the kite"--ET (no relevence at all)

i never said i wasnt going to DC.i said i might not go...or IF i dont go..i never said i definatly wanst.. brian called me this morning and is liek wanna go..and i was like..yeah sure..whatever..casue i didnt know if chris was going to his grandmothers or whatever.. i called kimi but got no answer from her.. at home or her cell.. so she didnt come.. me and brian drove to the metro and met up with Timmy.. (the one angela is friends with).. he's a sweetheart.. i adore him..he's like so cheerful and stuff.. so yeah.. i owe brian 5$ cause he bought my metro day pass...cause i have no money.. so we get to Eastern Market stop and Brian isnt exactly sure how to get there.. so we call dennis.. and dennis takes like 10 min to get us the address... and it turned out we passed it.. so we had to back track.. so we got there.. like 3 of the people i made out with were there.. and then like new random peopel.. Cedrik (the pink crayon dude who looks like sheldon).. was there..he's SO sweet..i adore him too..a dn emily (cute little les.. she's sweet).. and the weird ugly chick was there..she has like a brittish accent and i didnt know it.. and then like this girl Jen was there..and she is like the nicest person.. and then this girl Anna was there.. and then a random group of black people which no one really talked to..they were eating fried chicken or something.. and like talking to eachother.. oh and this dude Ozzy showed up later.. and like Shelly and beth from chambers showed up..for support of brian.. then brian, timmy, shelly and beth went to dupont for coffe and came back like FOUR hours later when they said they were only gonna be like an hour...that pissed me off.. but i stayed at the house with the people and we played Truth or dare Jenga.. which was stupid but amusing for like 2 some point chris called and was liek where are you and i was like DC and then he hung up on me..which i thought was kind of rude but whatever.. they had like eggies and stuff.. so like i ate carrots and celery and it was good.. the SMYAL house had like 7 bookcases with books about homosexuality.. and like random books too..and biographys .. was awesome..its liek a library..u can like rent stuff out.. i got a book..its cool.. "growing up gay".. by 3 funny gay guys.. at some point our conversation turned into a yourmom conversation..and every sentence had your mom in it.. it was kind of like the breast thing..except with more people and it made less sense.. then like 4 hours later brian and timmy and shelley and beth showed back up.. then we left..the metro was crowded like some shit.. that was annoying..i pretty much found a space on the floor of the metro car and sat there...while the other four were SINGING>..the WHOLE WAY BACK!!!!....xmas carols and like RENT.. and it was annoying as crap..even though shelley has a beautiful voice.. timmy goes to bullis..and knows geoff bender.. i was like whoa.. anyway.. but yeah i pulled out my CD player and entered my own little world of lakadaisies.. then we got off and left.. brian drove me home.. i walk in the door.. i say hi.. my stepdad goes "whatever" in a really pissy tone.... at that point i'm just like fuck you.. whatever.. i'm tired.. cold and pissed off..and my nose is fuckin stuffy7 and every tiome i blow my nose my ears pop and then i get really really dizzy....its actually really annoying..i feel like crap... i want a hug...and i want my family to just GO THE FUCK AWAY.....i'm pissed off and sad...

maybe i'll find more pills to take..hopefully one will knock me out..

i had the urge to hurt myself today ..but i dont know why.. just a random urge to see my own blood and feel pain..i didnt..dont worry...i just had an was weird.....

i hate my shower.. if i stay in there long enough or if i'm sitting in the shower looks like i'm in a grave and it freaks me out.. like is this what it would feel like if i was in a grave.. and its weird.. and then i get more freaked out..


i'm home
  • Current Music
    Splender - I Don't Understand

(no subject)


i walk downstairs.. my stepdad fuckin starts bitching and nagging about calling the video store to see if i get the job.. he sees that i'm tired and sick-like and angry and probably KNOWS that i do not want to talk to him..but he still fuckin bitches anyway.. just LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!


just because i'mt here doesnt mean you have to fuckin talk to me!!!!

just go the fuck away you stupid bitchy old prick!
  • Current Music
    Everclear - Father of Mine

your mom

damn..i wanted to be your mom!

chris,erica,justin,marc and diane came over today..we made smores! smores are good.. damn that sticky white stuff..

i said your mom a lot..

we watched some of the breakfast club..i got really mad at chris.. then everything was ok again.. they all ate popcycles.. erica and chris are the most talented....i think..diane is gettin there

me and chris watched the village people movie.. totally was great...

then chris ate my sunflower seeds.. and stuff.. then everyone left..

i got grahmn crackers.. score..

i'm tired.. still kinda sad...i hate my nose....

i miss i wanna just chill with her before she leaves.. as friends.. its all good.. as friends..

i want ET to call... for real though..


jorge called me (you say who's jorge).. well i dont know..some guy who called me....hehe..

your mom your mom and your mom

but especially your mom


your mom
  • Current Music
    Splender - Monotone