March 1st, 2018


Rehab center but also you

we moved her to health south in sunrise. she doesnt like it but its the only place that would take her. i met all her therapists and doctors there. they were all nice and helpful. i think it will be good for her there. so does her primary. mom thinks she would do better at home. but its less help and im already super overwhelmed.

all day i wanted to text you to come hug me. but it made me cry every time i thought about it. and i know the hug, if you even came, would make me cry even more. i dont deserve your hugs anyway. would it even make me feel better?  would it just make me miss you more? is it just the 6 hours of sleep ive had in 4 days talking? im still crying tbh

i just got home even though i feel like shit for leaving her alone when shes so miserable.

i took a dentist appointment today that was supposed to be for next week cause they had it open and it was only 3 miles away. $400+ and 5 antibiotic injections later, my face really fucking hurts.

my mom is talking to people about assisted living facilities. which i guess means ill be even more homeless.

clay and whitney from the bastard suns broke up. so the band is on hiatus. also clay deleted me which i thought was weird cause he keeps people he actively hates..but not me. what did i really do but challenge his authority and keep him from aggressively abusing whitney. all ive ever done is love that band and want to help that band without getting shit for being myself. is that really so wrong? but i guess no tour this year and even if they did, i doubt theyd take me. so i guess its whatever now. at least i didnt actually have to rage quit but it still fucking hurts. ive known them since 2011

everything hurts