May 7th, 2018

sara's fuck you

tinder bullshit

cw sexual harassment/assault, weed, fuckbois, tinder bullshit, me over using the word "like" a lot because it's how I talk and I never stopped doing it from the 90s, also a long rant of what happened just now

I've been trying to meet new people, mostly i just try to get people to come to shows to meet me. Okcupid banned me and won't tell me why. that was where I met my ex who I was with for six years so I was kind of bummed about it. So I resort to tinder and bumble now. it's mediocre and I swipe no on most people cause they don't seem like people I want to associate with ever tbh. like how many fucking pictures of dead fishes do you need on one profile. OR YOUR MARRIAGE PHOTOS. like really?! anyway today's bullshit is brought to you from someone who was actually cute and made an effort to actually see me.

Today i had limited time, so I invited this tinder dude over. I talked to him a few weeks ago and then i've been out of town so he hit me up today. I told him straight out before hand I wasn't gonna fuck him and that I have limited time and i'm super stressed and all over the place. He comes over, we smoke a bunch of bowls, talk to each other. It's super chill. He starts looking at my tattoos and like super casual light touching my leg (which is where my tattoos are) which was fine, i didn't mind. but then he starts asking about my hair and touching/grabbing my hair. I'm like " yo, i don't really know you yet. You should chill". we start talking more, I tell him i'm from Israel. He tells me how much that turns him on. I start telling him why I don't really care for israel anymore (my neglectful father lives there, etc. - that's a whole other story). He asks about pictures. I pull out my picture portfolio books and start showing him. He tries to get me to sit on his lap. I tell him "no, i like to stand, i'm too manic to sit anyway, plus I don't really know you". So i'm going through my pictures, he stands up and behind me continually hugging all over me, trying to touch my waist, tattoos, hair. I must have pushed him off of me or done the cringey shoulder thing when he got too close to me like 8 different times.

Finally I was like " What don't you understand about I'm not interested in this right now, I told you already."

his response was like "oh sometimes you just feel that connection with people"

I said " it's cool you feel a connection and all but I don't yet, I don't really know you at all and it's kind of disrespectful of you after I asked you not to do that"

He's like "oh i'm not trying to disrespect you, i'm just persistent" ... I told him he should probably leave and he was like "oohhh nooo" and said some other bullshit excuse. I go on with my picture thing again and HE DOES IT AGAIN. so I tell him I have to leave early cause of traffic getting to the place I have to go to and he leaves but is like " Oh when can I see you again".. i was just like "maybe in a couple weeks when I get back" .. aka never

i'm so annoyed more than anything. like the ONE TIME I actually agree to meet up with someone. I was up front the entire time. WHAT IS SO FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT NO. BE FUCKING CHILL.

but please, talk to me about how you believe in god some more first.

fucking asshole

now i'm late for my appointment cause i'm in a weird violated rage.