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on top of everything [14 Jan 2019|02:47pm]
my grandma is gone. she's at my moms.

my mom originally said she wanted to wait to sell the house.. now all of a sudden it's going on the market next week.. LESS THAN A FUCKING WEEK SINCE SHE'S BEEN GONE. she wants to have it sold by May. which isn't a long time actually.

i thought i'd have some time at least. to save something. but actually my car just fucking broke again so there goes the rest of my fucking savings. it's completely depleted. and i only have one job this next week. which i need my car for. so i have to pay over $1300 today. cool

i'm used to relying on myself for everything and now i have to be super dependent on my bf, which is whatever, he's stoked to do it. super supportive. but for me, it's not okay. i'm used to having actual work. on a semi regular basis.

now i'm significantly more overwhelmed with trying to pack up this house and continually take things 4 hours each way to my moms house.. while continually trying to get work and packing and organizing my own things and being considerate of the other person living with me without flipping out. it's pretty difficult to maintain a fake happy about everything going on.

i need help or work or something else.. and i don't know where to get any of these things
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