viva (dvlf) wrote,

i love kelli cooper

Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That
way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It
would be like, "Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there
was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over and says "Hey, you
moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how
many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled his
boat into the dock, I lifted up this big 'ol stringer of bass and this idiot
on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope talked 'em into
giving up. Here's your sign."

I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was
a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...They want you to
jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite
you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck,
looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist. Said,
"Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on
me. Here's your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
says, "Darn that's hot!" See? If he'd been wearing his sign, I could have
stopped him.

I learned to drive an 18 wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't ya know I
misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it
out no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop
shows up to take the report. He went through his basic
problem. I thought sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked
" your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked
back at the rig and then back to him and said "No, i'm delivering a
bridge... here's your sign."
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